Peaceful Divorce

Judy M. Graybill
  • Female
  • Lake Mary, FL
  • United States
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About Me:
I give peace of mind to recoupled families with children by instilling confidence they won't come home after working hard to argue with their spouse of (step)children. As a certified Stepfamily Coach and owner of Sensible Steps, LLC, I am coach, consult, speak, and write on topics related to divorce and stepfamilies. Personally, my experience started as a child in a divorced family, continued as my parents dated, and was revisited as an adult when I moved in with somebody who had 3 children and a grandchild. Professionally, my degrees are in Sociology and Psychology. My certification is through The Stepfamily Foundation. My experience working with people, including children, spans close to 2 decades. My articles have been published on various websites. I've been interviewed and quoted as an expert. If you are looking for an expert on divorce and recoupling, feel free to contact me to possibly book me.

Judy M. Graybill's Blog

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Staying in an Unhealthy Relationship

In its simplest form, forgiveness means to not feel ill-will toward somebody who wronged you. It means to not be angry at that person anymore. If you are in a relationship with that person, it also means not to bring up the wrong in future arguments. If you’re forgiving an ex, it is a step toward healing and finding closure.


Many people don’t understand why I defend my ex. When I first share personal memories, a common reaction I get is “What an ass-hole!”

“No,” I say,…


Posted on January 20, 2011 at 7:42pm

Forgiveness is Repetitive Not Solitary

Forgiveness is a must for anybody to have a healthy spirit. It is not a one-time action. It is repetitive. It should be sincere and come from the heart. It is a must in a healthy stepfamily.

Each member of a stepfamily needs to forgive. Parents would benefit by forgiving their ex-spouses, their childrens' other parent. This will make a huge impact on the emotional health of your children. If you feel negative emotions toward your ex, it could affect your ability to effectively… Continue

Posted on January 20, 2011 at 7:30pm

Adult Children of Divorce Learn how to Love from Television

Adult children of divorce have the toughest time having healthy relationships as an adult. They were unable to see a model of a healthy marriage as a child. This is particularly true of children whose parents had multiple unsuccessful relationships. Instead of learning how to have a long and lasting marriage, they learn how to argue, stonewall, criticize, manipulate, and finally to give up. On the reverse side, many ascertain that arguing is bad and avoid any and all confrontation.…


Posted on January 20, 2011 at 7:26pm

Incomplete Grief is Overlooked as a Reason Relationships Fail

When people hear the word grief, they immediately think of mourning somebody's death. This is accurate, but it overlooks the many other ways of grieving. The  Random House Webster's Dictionary defines grief as "deep sorrow".  By that definition, it logically follows that people grieve the loss of their relationship or family after divorce. Unsurprisingly, the grief feels more harsh to kids. Yet, it afflicts adults in profound ways as well. If people don't allow themselves or their children…


Posted on January 20, 2011 at 7:21pm

Sensible Steps for Divorced and Stepfamilies

Last Thursday night, March 26, 2009, I presented a tele-class about issues related to re-coupling after divorce. Susan Epstein of Parenting Powers asked some great questions and contributed a stepfamily story of her own.

Below are a few of the things I talked about:

1) How fairy tales, books, and movies inaccuracy depict step families (AKA blended families).

They either portray the stepfamily as one in which they overcome many problems and then live "happily… Continue

Posted on March 30, 2009 at 1:00pm — 2 Comments

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At 10:17pm on April 1, 2009, Cynthia Tiano, Esq. said…
Hi Judy -

Welcome to Peaceful Divorce! We are honored to have you here and are very much looking forward to you joining this important conversation.

We would love for you to answer the Forum question, "Which Piece Of The Peaceful Divorce Puzzle Do You Have?"

I am looking forward to checking out your site, and connecting!

Let me know if I may help in any way!

Cynthia Tiano, Esq.
Peaceful Divorce Mediator
Author, “Happily Divorced! Secrets of the Win-Win Formula”

Become an affiliate of the Happily Divorced! book and audio program! Let Reformed "Killer" Divorce Attorney, Cynthia Tiano, and Dr. Max Vogt, Marriage and Family Psychologist, take you on an adventure into the lives of two families going through the divorce legal system - one doing "legal battle" and the other creating a "peaceful divorce". Learn how to create a Win-Win from their experiences...


Latest Activity

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What Is a Caucus?

One of the guiding values in mediation and collaborative law is transparency. It comes with the territory when one is trying to establish trust with two different parties. Sometimes an issue may arise that one party may wish not to discuss in front of the other. If they both agree, separate meetings may take place. These meetings are called caucuses.Caucuses can be…See More
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Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

How Important Is the Budget in Divorce Planning?

I think everyone’s least favorite word is BUDGET. Why don’t we want to hear that word? Think about it: We’re asking ourselves to do something we don’t want to do — or worse yet, someone else is asking us to do it. While we might not like them, having a budget does help. In divorce planning — whether you are going to litigation,…See More
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Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

21st Century Parenting Plans

I remember when the default custody arrangement had one parent as the custodial parent, and the other parent was known as the “Disneyland parent.” They had their children every other weekend, and maybe once during the week for dinner. Today it is more common to see joint parenting time consist of one week on, and one week off or “two-two-five-five” time,…See More
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Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Including a Financial Professional in Your Mediation

Very often, couples who are divorcing amicably, or who have straightforward financial situations, will forgo meeting with a financial professional while they go through mediation. Though this may seem logical on its face, “going it alone” may result in unnecessary hardship and inaccurate calculations.  It is easy to simply look at a tax table today and say “I am going…See More
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Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

What About the House?

Going through divorce means dealing with hundreds of details, some more important than others. One detail that merits extra contemplation is how to deal with the marital home.Does one spouse want to keep it because the children still live there? You don't want to disrupt their lives any more than is already happening. What if the children are grown? Do you still need that much of a house?Here are the three most common means of dealing with the house in divorce:Selling the house and dividing the…See More
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