The puzzle piece I bring to the table of the peaceful divorce is my ability to bring equilibrium or realistic expectations to the final outcome and to keep the importance of the children at the forefront but not in the line of fire. I keep my clients informed throughout the process as a means to calm the divorce angst as much as possible. I also believe in empowering my clients by guiding him/her to the resources s/he will need to achieve a win/win outcome for a healthy, vibrant family post-divorce.
Hi, Cynthia, Although I am a lawyer, I'm happiest when I play the role of mediator because I enjoy encouraging both parties to express themselves and working out language that everyone can live with. As I am a lawyer by training, I also enjoy working in a collaborative divorce. Most of the time I work as the mediator and I bring in a financial advisor to help the couple with the numbers and sometimes a mental health therapist to help with the parent coordination, all of us as neutrals. The couple truly benefits from having a "divorce transition team" in place. I never give up on the couple. I stand for the resolution of all issues. I'm kind of the cheerleader and coach for the couple as well as the drafter of the documents. I also try to keep them laughing and diffuse the tension with humor.
Hi Cynthia,
My piece to the peaceful divorce puzzle is helping individuals explore their childhood experiences and relationships and how they use these to select a partner. Looking at their attempt to repeat what is familiar to them, or attempt repairing what is familiar but not satisfying, can be life changing. I have seen the anger decrease between partners when each realizes that their being together was not a chance happening. Understanding this process can produce compassion for each partner's struggle taking blame away. This is a difficult process. Some partners would rather blame and stay angry. Those who can look at themselves will grow, change and look at divorce as an opportunity.
Hi Cynthia,
First, can you tell me how to edit my profiel so I can get rid of the typo.---going too many directions at one time. WOuld like to get more involved. Cindy H and I have been batting around ideas. Maybe we can all meet one day this summer and chat? Let me know your thoughts
Cindy Vova
I thought I did leave a comment..one being that there is NO RESOURCES available to folks not interested in utilizing an attorney and/or Mediator...one in the same aside from the fact one is less costlier than the other..I"m looking for resources that would GUIDE ME THROUGH A PRO SE DIVORCE...but I do understand, it is in the best interest of Professionals to promote business and this would be the avenue. Feel free to send me info if you have it available for interested PRO SE parties...I would really appreciate free advice that would assist me ..and not advertisements for their BUSINESS SERVICES....
Thanks for your info!
Yes Peaceful indeed and I would like to know, have you been through a divorce? I think it should be a requirement for the attornies who specialize in the field to have been through the process..it would then be viewed as much more GENUINE ADVICE! Don't you agree?
Again, thanks and all the best look forward to hearing back from you!
MK
While I usually represent one party in a divorce with respect to the division of retirement benefits--I am sometimes retained by both parties to counsel/mediate the terms of their agreement as to this issue and/or to draft the necessary documents (usually court orders known as "QDROs") so that the retirement division may be effectuated by the applicable plans. When I am in the neutral role I serve as an educator so that the parties can make an informed decision about how best to proceed.
Hi Cynthia
I am very pleased to be a part of this group. I have been a divorce attorney in Delaware for thiry years. I have beena mediator for 15. I am interested in learning more about what you plan to do as a group. I am interested in becoming more involved.
Rory Godowsky
My piece of the peaceful divorce puzzle addresses something that society and our predecessors in divorce seem to have overlooked.
If we want to learn how to drive, we take lessons. It's the same with karate, dancing, golf, driving, breast feeding, etc.. There are even instructions and tips for learning how to sell a yo-yo on eBay.
But they never gave us any lessons on how to get divorced. No one tells us what to say and do (and not say and do!) if we hope to persuade our partner to agree to a peaceful, out-of-court settlement.
If society had never required driving instruction, we would have just experienced a century of unnecessary car wrecks. Without specific instruction on how to behave during one-on-one spousal settlement conversations, we have, in fact, already experienced a century of divorce wrecks/wars, many of which were likely unnecessary.
I have come across many newly revealed and effective things that divorcing spouses can now do to entice their spouses to join them in making their ordeal quicker, saner, and more affordable. I plan on sharing these insights with the group.
The more I learn is the more I realize that I need to learn, and whatever I have to offer is certainly far from complete.
I sincerely ask for and welcome any and all input.
I want to thank you and Cindy Harari for being on my teleconference call last night - Credit 911!
I appreciated you being a part of it and hope you found the information enriching and enlightening.
I would like to talk with you and Cindy about being guests on a future call and talking about Peaceful Divorce. Please email me directly at Lisa @ Divorce Money Matters. com.
Wow Cynthia!! You have done a magnificent job. This site is providing a platform for the cause - carrying the message that divorce doesnt have to destroy a family. I am honored to be a part of the group.
Thank you for the warm welcome. I look forward to getting to know everyone in the group.
I just noticed that you are in PB County. I used to live there until 3 years ago when I moved to Metro Atlanta.
Lived there all my adult life. Where are you located?
Cynthia,
your support today was great, thank you again for your positive review of my interview with Dr. Jackie Black. I'll send you the link as soon as it becomes available!
Diane T.
Become an affiliate of the Happily Divorced! book and audio program! Let Reformed "Killer" Divorce Attorney, Cynthia Tiano, and Dr. Max Vogt, Marriage and Family Psychologist, take you on an adventure into the lives of two families going through the divorce legal system - one doing "legal battle" and the other creating a "peaceful divorce". Learn how to create a Win-Win from their experiences... HappilyDivorced.org
Cynthia Tiano, Esq.'s Comments
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My piece to the peaceful divorce puzzle is helping individuals explore their childhood experiences and relationships and how they use these to select a partner. Looking at their attempt to repeat what is familiar to them, or attempt repairing what is familiar but not satisfying, can be life changing. I have seen the anger decrease between partners when each realizes that their being together was not a chance happening. Understanding this process can produce compassion for each partner's struggle taking blame away. This is a difficult process. Some partners would rather blame and stay angry. Those who can look at themselves will grow, change and look at divorce as an opportunity.
First, can you tell me how to edit my profiel so I can get rid of the typo.---going too many directions at one time. WOuld like to get more involved. Cindy H and I have been batting around ideas. Maybe we can all meet one day this summer and chat? Let me know your thoughts
Cindy Vova
Thanks for your info!
Yes Peaceful indeed and I would like to know, have you been through a divorce? I think it should be a requirement for the attornies who specialize in the field to have been through the process..it would then be viewed as much more GENUINE ADVICE! Don't you agree?
Again, thanks and all the best look forward to hearing back from you!
MK
I am very pleased to be a part of this group. I have been a divorce attorney in Delaware for thiry years. I have beena mediator for 15. I am interested in learning more about what you plan to do as a group. I am interested in becoming more involved.
Rory Godowsky
Thank you for welcoming me into the group.
My piece of the peaceful divorce puzzle addresses something that society and our predecessors in divorce seem to have overlooked.
If we want to learn how to drive, we take lessons. It's the same with karate, dancing, golf, driving, breast feeding, etc.. There are even instructions and tips for learning how to sell a yo-yo on eBay.
But they never gave us any lessons on how to get divorced. No one tells us what to say and do (and not say and do!) if we hope to persuade our partner to agree to a peaceful, out-of-court settlement.
If society had never required driving instruction, we would have just experienced a century of unnecessary car wrecks. Without specific instruction on how to behave during one-on-one spousal settlement conversations, we have, in fact, already experienced a century of divorce wrecks/wars, many of which were likely unnecessary.
I have come across many newly revealed and effective things that divorcing spouses can now do to entice their spouses to join them in making their ordeal quicker, saner, and more affordable. I plan on sharing these insights with the group.
The more I learn is the more I realize that I need to learn, and whatever I have to offer is certainly far from complete.
I sincerely ask for and welcome any and all input.
I can't remember my nickname.
Richard Kulerski
I want to thank you and Cindy Harari for being on my teleconference call last night - Credit 911!
I appreciated you being a part of it and hope you found the information enriching and enlightening.
I would like to talk with you and Cindy about being guests on a future call and talking about Peaceful Divorce. Please email me directly at Lisa @ Divorce Money Matters. com.
Take care,
Lisa C. Decker, CDFA
www.DivorceMoneyMatters.com
Thank you for the warm welcome. I look forward to getting to know everyone in the group.
I just noticed that you are in PB County. I used to live there until 3 years ago when I moved to Metro Atlanta.
Lived there all my adult life. Where are you located?
How are you? We haven't talked in awhile!
May I submit an article?
your support today was great, thank you again for your positive review of my interview with Dr. Jackie Black. I'll send you the link as soon as it becomes available!
Diane T.
Thank you for your information and comment. I will check in to these resources. Please keep in touch.
Regards,
Jasmine
Let's set up a time to talk. How does this week look for you?
Cynthia
I love the Jar System - it is something I recommend to quite a few of my clients. I would love to chat with you about it.
Karen
I just got back from Vegas and this week I'm teaching.
Are you going to Charlie's networking event Friday evening?
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