Peaceful Divorce

The Difference Between Litigation and Mediation: It's Personal

People have a range of preconceptions about divorce, the law, and the courts. In reality, going before a judge to air your grievances about your soon-to-be ex-spouse is rarely as satisfying as movies and television shows may have you believe. Mediation offers a private, cost-efficient alternative to litigation—but before you choose either venue, there are some guiding principles to keep in mind:

  1. Don't expect to “win” your divorce. People hope to beat their spouses in court, but seldom is there a winner in divorce.
  2. Don't make decisions without thinking them through. You're going to make life-changing decisions during this time, so resist impulsive reactions.
  3. You're getting divorced, not your children. Don't put the children in the middle or use them as pawns and messengers between yourselves.
  4. Don't believe everything you hear from other people. All divorces have different sets of issues. Rely on the advice you get from your professionals.
  5. Forget the past and prepare for the future. Don't get hung up on small matters.

Once you’ve mastered these five steps, you will be in a place to make a more informed decision about how you should proceed with your divorce. The reasons you may want to choose mediation to settle your divorce include:

  • It can be less costly: Most of the time you will only need to meet with one mediation professional.
  • You get more personal attention: Mediation allows each party to speak, and be heard, individually.
  • Greater confidentiality: Meetings are private and not held in a courtroom where the public can hear everything.
  • Flexibility: You can meet at times that work for you as opposed to being told when your court date is.
  • Mediation protects your children from conflicts: In litigation, children may be required to appear in court, whereas in mediation the focus is going to be on the welfare of the children.
  • Mediation offers more opportunity: The voluntary aspect of mediation means that couples can go above and beyond the law in order to tailor plans that suit their needs.
  • Mediation allows for greater post-divorce stability: Specifically tailored financial and custody arrangements make it less likely that any post-divorce modifications will need to be made to your agreement.

You tell me: Doesn't mediation make more sense than litigation?

Views: 9

Comment

You need to be a member of Peaceful Divorce to add comments!

Join Peaceful Divorce

Become an affiliate of the Happily Divorced! book and audio program! Let Reformed "Killer" Divorce Attorney, Cynthia Tiano, and Dr. Max Vogt, Marriage and Family Psychologist, take you on an adventure into the lives of two families going through the divorce legal system - one doing "legal battle" and the other creating a "peaceful divorce". Learn how to create a Win-Win from their experiences... HappilyDivorced.org


Events

Latest Activity

Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Key Provisions of the New Tax Law

As we know the President signed the 2018 tax reform law into effect on December 22, 2017. This is the largest tax code overhaul in more than 3 decades.Most of the provisions in the TCJA will take effect on January 1, 2018. Most of the provisions affecting individuals are temporary and sunset after 2025, while the majority of the business provisions are permanent.Most individual taxpayers will not see changes until it…See More
Jan 11
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

What is Hidden in the New Tax Proposal That Could Change Divorce

Deep in the 429 pages of the House Republican tax bill is a provision with financial consequences for couples getting divorced.People looking to get divorced and people writing alimony checks would have to pay tax on those payments. Under current tax law, alimony payments are tax-deductible to the party paying and taxable to the party receiving them. Under the new proposal that would end.Here is the rationale for making these changes: The proposal would eliminate what is effectively a divorce…See More
Dec 6, 2017
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Tax Tips for the Recently Divorced

We are only 10 weeks away from the end of the year. What does that mean for people who have gotten divorced in 2017?It means you have to get ready to file your tax returns for the year ending 2017 by April 16, 2018 (April 15 falls on a Sunday so you can file your return on April 16) or extend it. Remember, just because you extend it, you still have to pay any…See More
Nov 16, 2017
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Tax Q&A for Recently Divorced People

Divorce is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through. In addition to the emotional component, financial issues weigh heavily on the minds of the parties to any divorce. Unfortunately, there are just some things that don’t follow any logic and you just have to know. Here are a few of the most common:  What filing status options do I have if I am separated from my spouse? You may qualify as Head of Household if you and…See More
Oct 25, 2017
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

New Models of Mediation

When I got trained in mediation, we were told that you either did solo mediation (one mediator) or co-mediation (two mediators). Since then, divorce professionals have learned that there are endless permutations of effective methods to mediate. In this post, I describe a few of the arrangements I have encountered in the 30 years I have been doing this.Integrated Mediation is…See More
Oct 4, 2017

Badge

Loading…

About

© 2018   Created by Cynthia Tiano, Esq..   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service