Peaceful Divorce

The Difference Between Litigation and Mediation: It's Personal

People have a range of preconceptions about divorce, the law, and the courts. In reality, going before a judge to air your grievances about your soon-to-be ex-spouse is rarely as satisfying as movies and television shows may have you believe. Mediation offers a private, cost-efficient alternative to litigation—but before you choose either venue, there are some guiding principles to keep in mind:

  1. Don't expect to “win” your divorce. People hope to beat their spouses in court, but seldom is there a winner in divorce.
  2. Don't make decisions without thinking them through. You're going to make life-changing decisions during this time, so resist impulsive reactions.
  3. You're getting divorced, not your children. Don't put the children in the middle or use them as pawns and messengers between yourselves.
  4. Don't believe everything you hear from other people. All divorces have different sets of issues. Rely on the advice you get from your professionals.
  5. Forget the past and prepare for the future. Don't get hung up on small matters.

Once you’ve mastered these five steps, you will be in a place to make a more informed decision about how you should proceed with your divorce. The reasons you may want to choose mediation to settle your divorce include:

  • It can be less costly: Most of the time you will only need to meet with one mediation professional.
  • You get more personal attention: Mediation allows each party to speak, and be heard, individually.
  • Greater confidentiality: Meetings are private and not held in a courtroom where the public can hear everything.
  • Flexibility: You can meet at times that work for you as opposed to being told when your court date is.
  • Mediation protects your children from conflicts: In litigation, children may be required to appear in court, whereas in mediation the focus is going to be on the welfare of the children.
  • Mediation offers more opportunity: The voluntary aspect of mediation means that couples can go above and beyond the law in order to tailor plans that suit their needs.
  • Mediation allows for greater post-divorce stability: Specifically tailored financial and custody arrangements make it less likely that any post-divorce modifications will need to be made to your agreement.

You tell me: Doesn't mediation make more sense than litigation?

Views: 26

Comment

You need to be a member of Peaceful Divorce to add comments!

Join Peaceful Divorce

Become an affiliate of the Happily Divorced! book and audio program! Let Reformed "Killer" Divorce Attorney, Cynthia Tiano, and Dr. Max Vogt, Marriage and Family Psychologist, take you on an adventure into the lives of two families going through the divorce legal system - one doing "legal battle" and the other creating a "peaceful divorce". Learn how to create a Win-Win from their experiences... HappilyDivorced.org


Events

Latest Activity

Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

What Is a Caucus?

One of the guiding values in mediation and collaborative law is transparency. It comes with the territory when one is trying to establish trust with two different parties. Sometimes an issue may arise that one party may wish not to discuss in front of the other. If they both agree, separate meetings may take place. These meetings are called caucuses.Caucuses can be…See More
Oct 22, 2019
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

How Important Is the Budget in Divorce Planning?

I think everyone’s least favorite word is BUDGET. Why don’t we want to hear that word? Think about it: We’re asking ourselves to do something we don’t want to do — or worse yet, someone else is asking us to do it. While we might not like them, having a budget does help. In divorce planning — whether you are going to litigation,…See More
Sep 18, 2019
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

21st Century Parenting Plans

I remember when the default custody arrangement had one parent as the custodial parent, and the other parent was known as the “Disneyland parent.” They had their children every other weekend, and maybe once during the week for dinner. Today it is more common to see joint parenting time consist of one week on, and one week off or “two-two-five-five” time,…See More
Aug 15, 2019
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Including a Financial Professional in Your Mediation

Very often, couples who are divorcing amicably, or who have straightforward financial situations, will forgo meeting with a financial professional while they go through mediation. Though this may seem logical on its face, “going it alone” may result in unnecessary hardship and inaccurate calculations.  It is easy to simply look at a tax table today and say “I am going…See More
Jul 30, 2019
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

What About the House?

Going through divorce means dealing with hundreds of details, some more important than others. One detail that merits extra contemplation is how to deal with the marital home.Does one spouse want to keep it because the children still live there? You don't want to disrupt their lives any more than is already happening. What if the children are grown? Do you still need that much of a house?Here are the three most common means of dealing with the house in divorce:Selling the house and dividing the…See More
Apr 24, 2019

Badge

Loading…

About

© 2020   Created by Cynthia Tiano, Esq..   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service