Peaceful Divorce

Sometimes divorce turns into a war, often because one or both spouses want to settle a score and be “right.”

In litigation, each party is trying to prove a point and get what they think they deserve, whereas mediation focuses less on finger-pointing and more on helping each spouse achieve his or her goals. In order to avoid fighting, and save family assets, there are four very simple issues that need to be resolved in a divorce - of course, there is always the devil in the details:

  1. Division of assets and liabilities
  2. Child support
  3. Parenting plans
  4. Alimony

It may sound simplistic, and that’s because it really is simple. Sometimes professionals and clients make things more complicated than they need to be - even when one considers all of the time and effort lawyers must put into a case - but we have to stay focused on keeping things simple when looking at the issues. As a client going through the process you can streamline it by:

  • Always focusing on the children's best interests;
  • Taking an active role in the settlement;
  • Getting educated about family finances;
  • Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically; and
  • Working with your spouse, mediator and related professionals as a team.

It is impossible to overstate the importance of teamwork in a collaborative divorce model, or even mediation models. I don’t usually expect to get inspired about collaborative techniques when I go out to a restaurant, but there is one place in Atlanta with a sign on the wall, on the way into the kitchen, which I thought was pretty neat:





The practice of using a TEAM can be called different things - I call the model I work in "Integrated Mediation" - but there is another model called Team Mediation - and I’m sure there are many other models, with different names. Over the years, I have found that professionals such as mental health practitioners offer invaluable help with parenting plans, emotional communications and listening skills. I have also worked with other specialists in health insurance matters, mortgage issues and real estate values. More and more people are realizing they don't have to go to court because they are educating themselves online. Do you want to make your divorce easier?  

The Inside Scoop on the New Mortgage Rules from an ExpertRobert D. Bordett CFP, CDFA Collaborative Practice and Mediation Services 888 U2AGREE (888.822.4733)

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