By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Raoul Felder, often referred to as the Duke of Divorce, is known for his involvement with high profile celebrity divorces. After working for years with clients such as Elizabeth Taylor, Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, Robin Givens divorcing Mike Tyson and David Gest divorcing Lisa Minelli, he has finally written a book with the unexpected title, The Good Divorce. Felder admits he is tired of the drama, complexity and oversized egos he deals with in celebrity divorces. Now he is focusing instead on the clients he has seen create what he calls a “good divorce.”
Few people equate Felder with happy ending divorces. But his heart has long been in the right place. I know that because when my book first came out three years ago I sent it to him asking for an endorsement. I’ll never forget what he wrote:
“How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? is unique in that is offers parents an innovative approach to having that difficult and unusually dreaded initial conversation with their children and making it as positive and supportive as possible. The fill-in-the-blank template concept is original and will be an extremely useful tool for families during a difficult time. A parent contemplating a divorce would be well-served by reading this valuable book.”
Felder says he finally had an epiphany and realized after more than forty years in practice he should be guiding more couples toward a good divorce. So he started interviewing clients who created a smooth and positive experience and shares what he learned.
According to Felder divorce statistics are startling. He says:
His advice is to interview prospective attorneys carefully. If they are too eager to take you into court for a take-all battle, walk away fast! He suggests asking specific questions such as:
How much will this cost?
How long will it take?
How many cases has the lawyer handled previously?
If necessary, will the layer appeal a final decision?
Most importantly, he says to be reasonable and “don’t bring the kids into it.” Of course, there’s a lot more to that subject that needs to be addressed which is why the Child-Centered Divorce Network is available to you with tons of valuable resources, a free weekly newsletter, coaching services and lots more.
Felder also says the first offer is often the best offer and circumstances frequently deteriorate after that. So think long and carefully before diving into extended battles that bruise financially as well as emotionally.
It is a plus for the Child-Centered Divorce movement that an attorney like Felder has written a book encouraging “good” divorces with peaceful outcomes. Heed his advice and be especially alert as to how you can protect your children from emotional scars before, during and long after your divorce.
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Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! Her innovative approach guides parents in creating a personal family storybook, using fill-in-the-blank templates, family history and photos, as an effective way to break the news with optimum results. For more information, free articles, free ezine and other valuable resources visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.