Peaceful Divorce

Forgiveness can be a valuable gift in your Divorce

Generously shared by member Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

One of the consequences of a difficult divorce is being left with negative emotions about the experience. Many people struggle with long-term anger, bitterness,

revenge and/or rage following a divorce that they either can't, or choose not
to release.

Are you angry or bitter because you feel wronged by your former spouse? Do you feel a need to get revenge - or hurt them back? Do you hold grudges? Is the joy in

your life affected by carrying the burden of these emotions? Are you suffering
from any health issues that just don't seem to go away?

In a Union Tribune article titled, "The Healing Power of Forgiveness," Sandi Dolbee writes, "Researchers are studying the health benefits of

forgiveness and generally define it as the process of letting go of the pain,
anger and resentment caused by an offense."

"People who learn to forgive seem to have fewer cardiovascular problems and stress-related ailments, and generally feel happier than those still holding a

grudge."

"The journal of Mental Health, Religion and Culture reported that people who forgave had decreased odds of depression -- women more so than men. Another study

published this year found that men generally have a harder time forgiving than
women."

"Forgiving does not mean excusing, forgetting or pretending that an offense never occurred. Instead, it is about letting go of the bitter, grudging, vengeful

feelings."

"Not being able to forgive elevates stress and tension, and that affects the immune system. There have been many studies that say our mental health affects our

physical health."

Today is a good day for you to explore the positive effect forgiveness can have in your life. Is your mental and physical health being hampered by holding on to

anger, resentment and other negative emotions? Are you tired of harboring the
weight of this constant burden? Would it be easier for you - and much better
for your children -- to forgive, knowing that your health and life are at risk?

Remember, we don't forgive for the sake of the other person. We forgive for our own selves. It's a gift we give to our self because we deserve more peace, joy and

happiness in our daily experiences. If you need help in seeing or understanding
the "Gift" of forgiveness, contact a counselor, divorce coach or
member of the clergy to talk about your challenges in confidence. You won't
regret it.

* * * Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing

Your Children -- with Love! The book provides fill-in-the-blank
templates for customizing a personal family storybook that guides children
through this difficult transition with optimum results. For more information
about the book, Rosalind's free articles, resources and free ezine, visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.


© Rosalind Sedacca 2009. All rights reserved.




Views: 12

Comment

You need to be a member of Peaceful Divorce to add comments!

Join Peaceful Divorce

Become an affiliate of the Happily Divorced! book and audio program! Let Reformed "Killer" Divorce Attorney, Cynthia Tiano, and Dr. Max Vogt, Marriage and Family Psychologist, take you on an adventure into the lives of two families going through the divorce legal system - one doing "legal battle" and the other creating a "peaceful divorce". Learn how to create a Win-Win from their experiences... HappilyDivorced.org


Events

Latest Activity

Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Important Notes on the Protecting Americans from Tax Hikes Act of 2015

On December 18, 2015, the Protecting Americans from Tax Hikes Act of 2015 was enacted. It extended permanently more than 20 key tax provisions. As well, some of the tax provisions that expired at the end of 2014 were extended for five years. Here are just a few…See More
Apr 28
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Filing an Extension with the IRS

Taxes are one of those unavoidable things that we have to deal with every year. The deadline stays relatively the same, but many of us nonetheless find ourselves scrambling to gather our documents. The reasons for this are as varied as the taxpayers themselves, but many times it simply comes down to being disorganized and lacking time management skills. If you are in no way ready to file…See More
Apr 14
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

4 Issues You Need to Be Aware of When Filing Your Taxes After Divorce

When couples get divorced, they can be respectful and cooperate with each other, but that does not mean the IRS will make it easy for them.Dividing property, and receiving alimony and other assets along with child support, can be complicated.Division of Assets and…See More
Apr 5
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Start the Year on the Right Financial Foot – Create a Budget!

If you got divorced in 2015 or are preparing to divorce in 2016, a budget can become a road map for your financial well-being. Here are some tips to makes budgeting easier:Ensure you have broad categories in your budget. Too many details make budgeting more difficult than it needs to be.Pay yourself first—include a savings account category in your budget. Take…See More
Jan 27
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

The holidays are over and so is your marriage – now what?

It has long been known that the first Monday of January is considered “Divorce Day.” The Christmas tree comes down, and so does the hammer, although the seed is often planted by one of the spouses before the holidays. According to some estimates, divorce inquiries rise by 300% during the month of January.Research on 500 divorcees commissioned by a family law provider showed that men are…See More
Jan 14
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

5 New Tax Laws for 2016

A new year is upon us, bringing with it changes to our tax laws. In order to avoid any trouble with the IRS, plan ahead for these changes.Penalty for the uninsured:Under the Affordable Care Act, individuals who choose not to get health insurance through government exchanges or through their employers have to pay an additional tax. If, in 2015, you didn't have health insurance, you’re going to pay the higher of these two amounts:2% of your…See More
Jan 4
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

5 Things You Need To Know About Your Taxes And Divorce

If you divorce in 2015, there are a few important things to be aware of in order to avoid potential hassles. Use this quick cheat sheet well in advance of the filing deadline:Know your filing status. If you divorced anytime before and up to December 31, 2015, you are considered divorced for the entire year. There is no “part-time married filing jointly” category. You'll either need to file as…See More
Dec 28, 2015
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

3 Important Tax Considerations For People Who Divorced In 2015

If you have been divorced at any time in 2015, there are specific pieces of information you need to be aware of before tax time arrives:Who claims the children? Prior to 2009, you could specify in a divorce decree which parent claimed the dependency exemption; since then, it is no longer an option to use a…See More
Dec 8, 2015
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

The APFM Conference 2015: What a difference a year makes!

I have attended a lot of conferences in my career, and typically the content is standard mediation-related information. The most recent conference however, hosted by the Academy of Professional Family Mediators (APFM) in Virginia, entitled Selling Peace in an Adversarial World, was different:The opening session…See More
Nov 12, 2015
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Some Highlights from the 2015 ADFP and Center for Mediation and Training Conference in New York City

It’s conference and continuing education time again. This year the Association of Divorce Financial Planners (ADFP) had a joint conference with Center for Mediation & Training, which is located in New York City. The Keynote speaker was Jean Chatzky, a personal finance expert, best-selling author, and the financial editor for NBC’s Today Show. There were several other main speakers, including Robert Pokorski, MD. He is the Vice President & Medical Director for Prudential.His talk was on…See More
Nov 3, 2015
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Essential Social Security Information That Divorcing Couples Should Be Aware Of

One of the sessions I attended at the Association of Divorce Financial Professionals (ADFP) conference this year was “Everything You Didn’t Know About Social Security” presented by Jacqueline Roessler, CDFA and Melissa Joy, CFP. Their presentation covered the basics of Social Security, including: The…See More
Oct 8, 2015
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

How Does Mediation Work?

{2 minutes to read} In my previous article, I explained the collaborative process. Today, we learn about mediation.Mediation is voluntary, private, flexible, and confidential. The process continues for as long as the parties and mediator want it to. Each party involved can make their own decision regarding their agreement, allowing them to…See More
Oct 2, 2015

Badge

Loading…

About

© 2016   Created by Cynthia Tiano, Esq..   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service