Peaceful Divorce

Forgiveness can be a valuable gift in your Divorce

Generously shared by member Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

One of the consequences of a difficult divorce is being left with negative emotions about the experience. Many people struggle with long-term anger, bitterness,

revenge and/or rage following a divorce that they either can't, or choose not
to release.

Are you angry or bitter because you feel wronged by your former spouse? Do you feel a need to get revenge - or hurt them back? Do you hold grudges? Is the joy in

your life affected by carrying the burden of these emotions? Are you suffering
from any health issues that just don't seem to go away?

In a Union Tribune article titled, "The Healing Power of Forgiveness," Sandi Dolbee writes, "Researchers are studying the health benefits of

forgiveness and generally define it as the process of letting go of the pain,
anger and resentment caused by an offense."

"People who learn to forgive seem to have fewer cardiovascular problems and stress-related ailments, and generally feel happier than those still holding a


"The journal of Mental Health, Religion and Culture reported that people who forgave had decreased odds of depression -- women more so than men. Another study

published this year found that men generally have a harder time forgiving than

"Forgiving does not mean excusing, forgetting or pretending that an offense never occurred. Instead, it is about letting go of the bitter, grudging, vengeful


"Not being able to forgive elevates stress and tension, and that affects the immune system. There have been many studies that say our mental health affects our

physical health."

Today is a good day for you to explore the positive effect forgiveness can have in your life. Is your mental and physical health being hampered by holding on to

anger, resentment and other negative emotions? Are you tired of harboring the
weight of this constant burden? Would it be easier for you - and much better
for your children -- to forgive, knowing that your health and life are at risk?

Remember, we don't forgive for the sake of the other person. We forgive for our own selves. It's a gift we give to our self because we deserve more peace, joy and

happiness in our daily experiences. If you need help in seeing or understanding
the "Gift" of forgiveness, contact a counselor, divorce coach or
member of the clergy to talk about your challenges in confidence. You won't
regret it.

* * * Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing

Your Children -- with Love! The book provides fill-in-the-blank
templates for customizing a personal family storybook that guides children
through this difficult transition with optimum results. For more information
about the book, Rosalind's free articles, resources and free ezine, visit

© Rosalind Sedacca 2009. All rights reserved.

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