Peaceful Divorce

Don't Be Your Own Worst Enemy

I answer questions on the Avvo.com website as a public service to people who have legal issues. Often these are people who are getting second opinions about the manner in which their lawyer is handling their case or venting about how their lawyer is mishandling their case. More and more frequently it seems, however, the questions are coming from people who have fired their lawyers for not doing what they wanted and who have then ventured out to handle their cases on their own with bad results following. Most recently, the questioner was a woman who had been through three lawyers, then represented herself and managed to antagonize the judge and the Guardian Ad Litem to the point that she lost custody of her children and had to pay her husband's attorney's fees. She complained that no one would listen to her.

While it is quite possible to hire one lawyer who does not listen well, it is unlikely that you will have the misfortune to find three in a row. That should be a sign that there is a problem with what you are saying. And when the stakes are as high as custody of your children, you should be listening to the advice of the experts that you are paying. Unfortunately, clients often come to lawyers with preconceived ideas about how the lawyers should be doing their jobs. When the lawyers do not perform on cue, dissatisfaction occurs. This is damaging to the success of the client's case. Often, the client then embarks on self-defeating conduct like lawyer switching or representing themselves. The result is predictable, like the case of the Avvo.com questioner. Still the blame is placed on the three lawyers, the judge, the Guardian Ad Litem. The reality is that the blame is much closer to home. It is always easier to blame someone else for failure, but in the long run it is better to have a good result. That requires working with, instead of against, your lawyer. Don't be your own worst enemy!

Views: 15

Comment

You need to be a member of Peaceful Divorce to add comments!

Join Peaceful Divorce

Become an affiliate of the Happily Divorced! book and audio program! Let Reformed "Killer" Divorce Attorney, Cynthia Tiano, and Dr. Max Vogt, Marriage and Family Psychologist, take you on an adventure into the lives of two families going through the divorce legal system - one doing "legal battle" and the other creating a "peaceful divorce". Learn how to create a Win-Win from their experiences... HappilyDivorced.org


Events

Latest Activity

Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

21st Century Parenting Plans

I remember when the default custody arrangement had one parent as the custodial parent, and the other parent was known as the “Disneyland parent.” They had their children every other weekend, and maybe once during the week for dinner. Today it is more common to see joint parenting time consist of one week on, and one week off or “two-two-five-five” time,…See More
Aug 15
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Including a Financial Professional in Your Mediation

Very often, couples who are divorcing amicably, or who have straightforward financial situations, will forgo meeting with a financial professional while they go through mediation. Though this may seem logical on its face, “going it alone” may result in unnecessary hardship and inaccurate calculations.  It is easy to simply look at a tax table today and say “I am going…See More
Jul 30
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

What About the House?

Going through divorce means dealing with hundreds of details, some more important than others. One detail that merits extra contemplation is how to deal with the marital home.Does one spouse want to keep it because the children still live there? You don't want to disrupt their lives any more than is already happening. What if the children are grown? Do you still need that much of a house?Here are the three most common means of dealing with the house in divorce:Selling the house and dividing the…See More
Apr 24

Badge

Loading…

About

© 2019   Created by Cynthia Tiano, Esq..   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service