Peaceful Divorce

{Time to read: 2:30 minutes}

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got.

- Mark Twain

Mediators can help couples going through divorce by:

  • Establishing ground rules. We can slow down the conversation, and ask certain questions that can promote understanding.
  • Resolving or better managing disputes. We help people reach agreement about what they will do differently in the future.
  • Playing a neutral role. We won’t take sides with either party - our job is to assist each party with understanding one another.
  • Helping identify the issues and interests in need of resolution. Once the issues of interest are identified, we’ll encourage the parties to brainstorm solutions.
  • Drafting the memorandum of understanding. When mediation is finished, and each party has approved the agreement, we will draft it and give it to each party to take to their attorneys.

Mediators will not:

  • Make decisions for you or the other person about how the dispute will be resolved;
  • Talk to others about how mediation went, without your permission. This includes bosses, stakeholders, or even people referred to in mediation;
  • Determine who's right or who’s wrong. There's no value in trying to persuade the mediator of the merits of your case.

Mediation is not a debate. In fact, we see mediation as the failure of successful debate. It does not require you to prove that you're right and they're wrong or convince either side to give up what they think is important to them. Mediation is not intended to have a win/lose outcome and is not something people are likely to do successfully if they are mandated to participate - it needs to be voluntary. Having a mediator is no guarantee that you're going to have a successful outcome - there are many factors to consider. It really depends on: Do you listen or do you talk? If you are considering mediation and have questions or concerns about how mediation would work in your situation, call and make an appointment to speak with me today at 1-888-U2-AGREE.


The Inside Scoop on the New Mortgage Rules from an Expert
Robert D. Bordett CFP, CDFA
Collaborative Practice and Mediation Services

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