Why do such a large percentage of people find it difficult to accept the lack of animosity we feel toward each other? So many feel that we should not talk, not smile at each other, not share a meal.
For example, I (briefly) dated a woman here in Santa Barbara, whom I will call Mary. Mary has two grown children and has been separated from her husband for over a decade. Mary and I had dated twice when she saw my (soontobeEx) wife, myself and a friend at a local jazz club.
I, being the (naive?) guy that I am, said hello to Mary and introduced her to my Ex. My Ex knew about Mary because we share news about who we are dating if appropriate. We're not obligated to share, but we don't feel compelled to hold back either.
The next day, I received a scathing email from Mary, denouncing me for introducing her to my Ex. She raved about how uncomfortable and awkward it was. The only uncomfortable one was her.
She assumed that my Ex and I were dating, still stuck on each other, whatever. In reality we had met to discuss some necessary business before attending a birthday party at the jazz club. The party was for a mutual friend, so we ate at a nearby restaurant and walked over together.
Mary just could not understand the possibility that my Ex and I are still friends and actually talk to each other, are polite to each other, and cheer each other on in our various endeavors.
Too bad for Mary. She and her husband aren't especially good friends, and Mary downgrades his character whenever possible.
Peer pressure by itself would cause us to hate each other. We don't.