Cindy Harari, Esq.'s Blog (10)

If you are a separated or divorced parent, you need to communicate with your child’s other parent. Even though you are no longer living together, and, in some cases, especially because you are no longer living together, conflicts about your children (minor ones and major ones) may arise with greater frequency. What do you do? Hopefully, you calmly discuss and resolve issues such as pick-ups and drop-offs, schedule changes, money, extracurricular activities, and family matters with your c… Continue

Current research indicates that one of the most reliable predictors of a child's success after their parents' separation and divorce is how well their parents get along. However, most separated or divorced parents find it quite challenging to peacefully reach common ground with their child's other parent. Often, despite parents' best efforts to protect them, children see too much, hear too much and feel their parents' simmering anger. Some children get a stomach ache every time they have to tra… Continue

Separated, divorced and never-married parents often face the daunting task of creating a parenting plan for their children. Where do they start? Here is some straightforward, expert advice from the Florida AFCC Parenting Plans Taskforce to help the entire family through this very important process. 1. There Is No “One Size Fits All” Parenting Plan --
Parenting plans should be constructed to meet the unique needs of each family and each family member. 2. Children’s Developmental Needs… Continue

Peaceful Divorce member Michael Mastracci's recent email included the following insightful message: Spiritual Laws to Help With Divorce -- Responsibility When going through a divorce, the desire to lay blame is strong, and of course, natural. But in order to learn and grow from the situation, and truly heal, we need to look inside of ourselves. When we can ask ourselves what our contributions to the situation have been, then we’re ready to take an honest look at exactly how we participa… Continue

One of many difficult things parents must do during and after their divorce is deal with their child(ren)'s other parent. While some aspects of "the deal" are spelled out in documents such as temporary or permanent court orders or final marital settlement agreements, most of the "parenting" details are not explicitly written down. For example, a document provides that the child(ren) are to spend every Tuesday night and alternating weekends with Parent A. In most instances, an agreement will inc… Continue

Do you think there is (or should be) a Bill of Rights for Separated & Divorced Parents? Peaceful Divorce member Rosalind Sedacca provides a wealth of resources regarding child-centered divorce, and shares her thoughtful commentary on this 12-point list that was published on the internet: 1) The right to feel and express love and affection for your children. Rosalind Sedacca: No one should deny you this right or your children the right to benefit from your… Continue

The following timely article appears in the online publication of The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC), an international organization dedicated to resolution of family conflict. It was written by Peg Libby, Executive Director, Kids First Center, Portland, Maine. Here is an excerpt from the Holidays and Celebrations chapter of our new book, Kids First: What Kids Want Grown-ups to Know about Divorce and Separation. 1. Plan, plan, plan Planning and predictabil… Continue

Tonight at sundown begins the Jewish New Year 5769. For some reason, this year this time of reflection has brought me back to the beginning of the year 5757. That year was significant to me back then – probably because my birth year is 1957, so the double “57s” were cool. It was 12 years ago – 1996. Where was I then compared to where I am now? More specifically, I’ve been thinking about how and where my (then-divorcing) family was then and looking at what’s happening now. In 1996, I was a sing… Continue

It seems to me that it is just too easy for couples contemplating divorce to fall into the adversarial system. Even those folks who start out with the intention of doing things peacefully get sucked into the system. I'm thinking about a couple I met with a few months ago who wanted to avoid a "war." We had an educational and philosophical discussion about marital dissolution and coparenting (they've got one young child). I heard from them very briefly over the course of a few months -- they were… Continue

It's Child-Centered Divorce Month -- a great time to think creating a Peaceful Divorce! Parents have the power to do it -- so here are 10 Simple Communication Strategies for Divorced Parents-- 1. Whenever possible, communicate in writing. Writing gives you the opportunity to clarify your thoughts and express yourself clearly. Also, in the event of a misunderstanding, everyone can go back and look at what is written. E-mails and faxes have the advantage of having a date and time embedded as wel… Continue