Peaceful Divorce

Mark Banschick MD's Blog (10)

The Value of Grief: Part Two

Grief is the natural, psychological response to the loss of a marriage, and you need to go through it in order to come out of your divorce healthy and strong. Let’s understand grief more deeply. It will help you go through it in a healthy way. Fighting grief usually makes it last longer, like going back to a sport before an injury has really healed. This is how you get hurt, yet again



Take a look at the chart below. It will help you visualize your mind’s immune… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on March 16, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

The Value of Grief: Part One

Grief is positive; it’s part of healing. If you bang your toe and it bruises or bleeds, your physiological reaction is part of the recovery process. The pain you feel is a signal to be tender with your toe—not to test it.

Swelling tells you that your immune system is taking charge, and bruising reminds you that it will take time to heal.

You know that if you bandage your wound properly, keep it clean, and allow nature to do its thing, you will heal, and you’ll heal…

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Added by Mark Banschick MD on March 9, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Balance, Divorce and Health

The following image is what The Intelligent Divorce: Taking Care of Yourself, proposes for you: balance and a clear identity.

By taking charge of your life, you’re more likely to be healthy and happy, and your kids will follow suit.

I admit that this isn’t easy. But once you get started, you can begin a positive feedback loop—one that continues to yield returns. The better care you take of yourself, the more likely you will feel good and continue to…

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Added by Mark Banschick MD on March 2, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Despite the Divorce, Take Charge of Yourself

Take a look at the diagram below:

The image above depicts something you see frequently in divorce—individuals whose personal selves are crowded out by that which surrounds them. I am quite certain that anyone going through a divorce can relate to not having enough time for herself. It also makes sense, there are so many competing demands and very often, just one parent instead of two. But this type of life just cannot hold up – you have to take charge of your…

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Added by Mark Banschick MD on February 23, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Taking Control of Yourself



Take a look at the diagram above. Unless your ex-husband or wife disappears and is no longer involved, you, your ex, and your kids are in a dynamic relationship with each other, and will be for years to come. What he does affects you directly and indirectly through the children.

And you are the one person in this system over which you have the most control.

DID YOU KNOW?

Wisdom is not a 21st Century commodity—it’s been…

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Added by Mark Banschick MD on February 16, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Local Event in Westchester, NY: Transforming Illness Into A Self Healing Journey

The Katonah Study Group For Integrative Medicine

www.TheKatonahStudyGroup.org/



Presents: Paul Epstein, ND

February 16, 2011

Katonah Library

7:00pm

$15 (unless you are a member)

Please bring your favorite dish - drinks will be provided





Transforming Illness Into A Self Healing Journey: How Biography Becomes Biology

Disease tells a…

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Added by Mark Banschick MD on February 14, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Marriage and Money

New York Times columnist, Nicholas Kristof, tells us something interesting in his November 6th article, entitled Our Banana Republic. Apparently, new research points to increasing divorces occurring due to the stress of poor economic times. This should surprise no one, but it should alarm us all.



Love makes marriage work, but stress — like a wayward child, mental illness, or the loss of a job — can undermine the glue that holds a couple together. There are a number of… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on February 9, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Relationship Status and the Social Network

With over 500 million users, Facebook is the most widely used social networking site in the world. It’s also incredibly easy to use. But that ease comes with a price. It may take just one click to change your relationship status from “married” to “single”, but that does nothing to protect you from the inevitable fallout of “Joe Schmo is now listed as single” from appearing on each and every one of your friends’ news feeds. This easy-to-use site has now made your life very… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on February 2, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Divorce, Parenting, and ADHD

Approximately one in every twenty kids has ADHD. That is more than one child per classroom, not to mention that it is probably an underestimate. These kids are hyper, distracted, impulsive, poorly organized, and, well, irritating. They are often intelligent, but have difficulty learning due to their distracted state of mind. Their hyperactivity can be so intense that parents may feel like pulling out their own hair because they can’t keep up. But this is a real medical condition, and it can be… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on January 28, 2011 at 10:14am — No Comments

Parenting Under Duress

Doctor's Notes:

I am a child psychiatrist and recently wrote a book called The Intelligent Divorce which adds to all the wonderful work that Cynthia and others are doing for kids of divorce. The crucial element to healthy parenting involves two main ideas: protecting the Intergenerational Boundary and not forgetting to take care of yourself.



The Intergenerational Boundary dictates that children remain children. They are… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on June 18, 2010 at 6:32am — 1 Comment

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Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

21st Century Parenting Plans

I remember when the default custody arrangement had one parent as the custodial parent, and the other parent was known as the “Disneyland parent.” They had their children every other weekend, and maybe once during the week for dinner. Today it is more common to see joint parenting time consist of one week on, and one week off or “two-two-five-five” time,…See More
Aug 15
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Including a Financial Professional in Your Mediation

Very often, couples who are divorcing amicably, or who have straightforward financial situations, will forgo meeting with a financial professional while they go through mediation. Though this may seem logical on its face, “going it alone” may result in unnecessary hardship and inaccurate calculations.  It is easy to simply look at a tax table today and say “I am going…See More
Jul 30
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

What About the House?

Going through divorce means dealing with hundreds of details, some more important than others. One detail that merits extra contemplation is how to deal with the marital home.Does one spouse want to keep it because the children still live there? You don't want to disrupt their lives any more than is already happening. What if the children are grown? Do you still need that much of a house?Here are the three most common means of dealing with the house in divorce:Selling the house and dividing the…See More
Apr 24

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