Peaceful Divorce

Mark Banschick MD's Blog (10)

The Value of Grief: Part Two

Grief is the natural, psychological response to the loss of a marriage, and you need to go through it in order to come out of your divorce healthy and strong. Let’s understand grief more deeply. It will help you go through it in a healthy way. Fighting grief usually makes it last longer, like going back to a sport before an injury has really healed. This is how you get hurt, yet again



Take a look at the chart below. It will help you visualize your mind’s immune… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on March 16, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

The Value of Grief: Part One

Grief is positive; it’s part of healing. If you bang your toe and it bruises or bleeds, your physiological reaction is part of the recovery process. The pain you feel is a signal to be tender with your toe—not to test it.

Swelling tells you that your immune system is taking charge, and bruising reminds you that it will take time to heal.

You know that if you bandage your wound properly, keep it clean, and allow nature to do its thing, you will heal, and you’ll heal…

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Added by Mark Banschick MD on March 9, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Balance, Divorce and Health

The following image is what The Intelligent Divorce: Taking Care of Yourself, proposes for you: balance and a clear identity.

By taking charge of your life, you’re more likely to be healthy and happy, and your kids will follow suit.

I admit that this isn’t easy. But once you get started, you can begin a positive feedback loop—one that continues to yield returns. The better care you take of yourself, the more likely you will feel good and continue to…

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Added by Mark Banschick MD on March 2, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Despite the Divorce, Take Charge of Yourself

Take a look at the diagram below:

The image above depicts something you see frequently in divorce—individuals whose personal selves are crowded out by that which surrounds them. I am quite certain that anyone going through a divorce can relate to not having enough time for herself. It also makes sense, there are so many competing demands and very often, just one parent instead of two. But this type of life just cannot hold up – you have to take charge of your…

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Added by Mark Banschick MD on February 23, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Taking Control of Yourself



Take a look at the diagram above. Unless your ex-husband or wife disappears and is no longer involved, you, your ex, and your kids are in a dynamic relationship with each other, and will be for years to come. What he does affects you directly and indirectly through the children.

And you are the one person in this system over which you have the most control.

DID YOU KNOW?

Wisdom is not a 21st Century commodity—it’s been…

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Added by Mark Banschick MD on February 16, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Local Event in Westchester, NY: Transforming Illness Into A Self Healing Journey

The Katonah Study Group For Integrative Medicine

www.TheKatonahStudyGroup.org/



Presents: Paul Epstein, ND

February 16, 2011

Katonah Library

7:00pm

$15 (unless you are a member)

Please bring your favorite dish - drinks will be provided





Transforming Illness Into A Self Healing Journey: How Biography Becomes Biology

Disease tells a…

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Added by Mark Banschick MD on February 14, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Marriage and Money

New York Times columnist, Nicholas Kristof, tells us something interesting in his November 6th article, entitled Our Banana Republic. Apparently, new research points to increasing divorces occurring due to the stress of poor economic times. This should surprise no one, but it should alarm us all.



Love makes marriage work, but stress — like a wayward child, mental illness, or the loss of a job — can undermine the glue that holds a couple together. There are a number of… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on February 9, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Relationship Status and the Social Network

With over 500 million users, Facebook is the most widely used social networking site in the world. It’s also incredibly easy to use. But that ease comes with a price. It may take just one click to change your relationship status from “married” to “single”, but that does nothing to protect you from the inevitable fallout of “Joe Schmo is now listed as single” from appearing on each and every one of your friends’ news feeds. This easy-to-use site has now made your life very… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on February 2, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Divorce, Parenting, and ADHD

Approximately one in every twenty kids has ADHD. That is more than one child per classroom, not to mention that it is probably an underestimate. These kids are hyper, distracted, impulsive, poorly organized, and, well, irritating. They are often intelligent, but have difficulty learning due to their distracted state of mind. Their hyperactivity can be so intense that parents may feel like pulling out their own hair because they can’t keep up. But this is a real medical condition, and it can be… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on January 28, 2011 at 10:14am — No Comments

Parenting Under Duress

Doctor's Notes:

I am a child psychiatrist and recently wrote a book called The Intelligent Divorce which adds to all the wonderful work that Cynthia and others are doing for kids of divorce. The crucial element to healthy parenting involves two main ideas: protecting the Intergenerational Boundary and not forgetting to take care of yourself.



The Intergenerational Boundary dictates that children remain children. They are… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on June 18, 2010 at 6:32am — 1 Comment

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Latest Activity

Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

What About the House?

Going through divorce means dealing with hundreds of details, some more important than others. One detail that merits extra contemplation is how to deal with the marital home.Does one spouse want to keep it because the children still live there? You don't want to disrupt their lives any more than is already happening. What if the children are grown? Do you still need that much of a house?Here are the three most common means of dealing with the house in divorce:Selling the house and dividing the…See More
Apr 24
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Child Support for Special Needs Children

We know that the divorce rate among all couples is about 50%, but there is no question that divorce rates are even higher among parents of children with special needs.Below is an article that was written by Dr. Howard Drutman and Marsha Schechtman, LCSW. In this article, they talk about the considerations that must be understood about the special needs child. In addition to their information, we also have to think…See More
Mar 28
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

An Email From the IRS? Don't Believe It

Scam artists have developed a new tactic in cheating taxpayers out of their hard-earned money.Transcript fraud is when taxpayers are lured into opening an attachment that is supposed to be their tax transcript. In fact, the attachment contains malware that will intercept all of your outgoing data, with the intent of capturing account numbers. From there, the thieves withdraw the money and the taxpayer is left without…See More
Feb 21
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

2018 Taxes & Divorce: There Is Still Time

If you are getting divorced or just got divorced the last thing on your mind is taxes. It is important to remember that if you got divorced anytime in 2018 (even Dec. 31, 2018), you will be considered divorced for the whole year of 2018. What does that mean for taxes?It could mean a higher tax bill than you thought.  If you are receiving alimony this year it will be taxable to you.  If you are…See More
Dec 28, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Tax Tips for the Recently Divorced

We are only 4 weeks away from the end of the year. What does that mean for people who have gotten divorced in 2018?It means you have to get ready to file your tax returns for the year ending 2018 by April 15, 2019, or else extend it. Remember, just because you extend it, you still have to pay any tax that you owe by April 15, 2019.If you got divorced in 2017, here are some items you need to think about for tax…See More
Dec 12, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

An Elegant Solution: The Child Support Account

Today I’m pleased to bring you a special guest blog written by my colleague Steve Erickson. In his 35 years of experience, Steve has come up with a novel approach to child support that shifts couples away from being adversarial and toward collaboration. This method is called the Child Support Account, and it was originally proposed…See More
Nov 15, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Withholding: A Down Payment, not a Tax

In my experience, many people do not know the difference between the withholding amount (the taxes deducted on your pay stub) and their tax liability. All they know is that they don’t have the money. They think they’re square with the government, and are surprised if they owe any amount on top of what was withheld. That’s why I thought it would be useful to review the…See More
Oct 25, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Divorce & Support Payments – When Can You Use it to Qualify for a Mortgage?

One of the things I have learned over the years is that we cannot be a Jack-of-all-trades and a master-of-none. In today’s ever-changing world, we need to have connections with professionals in other disciplines and specialities. This is especially true with divorce professionals. I think it is important that practitioners have a network of specialists on which to draw. Today I am going to do just…See More
Oct 4, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Projecting Your 2018 Taxes

Have you thought about doing a tax projection for 2018?Obviously, this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. However, no one wants to be surprised around tax time. Here’s why you should get a head start on knowing the new tax law and how it will affect you and/or your business in the coming tax year.We are seven months into the New Year. You may not be aware that we have a new tax law that went into effect on December 22, 2017, or that most of the provisions took effect on January 1, 2018.Here are some…See More
Aug 23, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Mediators: The Swiss Army Knife of Divorce

Today I’m featuring an article by a colleague of mine named Martin Kranitz. Martin, a mediator in Maryland, has obtained certification from the Maryland Council for Dispute Resolution, one of the first organizations to provide mediator certification based on demonstrated performance rather than just education and mediation courses taken.  In this piece, Martin discusses one of the many functions a mediator can play,…See More
Jul 12, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

The Top 3 Reasons to Choose Mediation

As attitudes change about marriage and divorce, mediation has become an attractive alternative to traditional litigation. Still, some people are wary of it. The good news is that the facts support mediation, and in this post I provide a “cheat sheet” to help you persuade a reticent spouse into the process.Control: You and your spouse get to control the speed of the process. You both get to make…See More
Jun 5, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Things We Don’t Think About When Getting Divorced

Financial issues are a big part of the difficulty of divorce, in part because people don’t realize there are certain contracts that take precedence over divorce decrees. In fact, that’s the number one misconception that people seem to have. Being able to identify financial issues can help take away some of the pitfalls and stresses that can arise…See More
May 31, 2018

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