Peaceful Divorce

Featured Blog Posts (45)

The Top Concerns of My Clients

When working towards a divorce, my clients are primarily concerned about how it will affect them financially. What will it cost in taxes? Can they continue their current lifestyle? What will their financial future look like?

Clients may have certain concepts of divorce and not realize how it’s going to impact them financially or how to make the best financial decisions. A good example is, I…

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Added by Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA on July 9, 2012 at 4:00pm — 1 Comment

Peaceful Divorce in Tough Economic Times

We all know that the recession is deep and painful for millions of people. It happens that divorce is a discretionary expense like home improvements, that many people will simply defer or delay because of the current circumstances. There is not only the expense of the divorce itself, but then there is the resulting two households to support.



A lot of people who would be in the market for a divorce are looking at their pocketbooks and deciding that whatever their marital problems…

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Added by Kenneth Friedman on June 6, 2012 at 7:34am — No Comments

How To Get A Divorce The Peaceful Way - Even If Your Ex Is Not On Board!

In my 30 years as a divorce attorney, and especially the last 16 years that I have been a divorce mediator, and now as a counselor, a phrase I have heard very often when I get up on my soapbox about Peaceful Divorce is, “but you don’t know my ex!” or “it’s not possible to have a peaceful divorce in my situation”. Not so. You CAN learn how to get a divorce the peaceful way, whether your spouse or ex is on board right now or not.

Now that may not be what you want to hear because what it…

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Added by Cynthia Tiano, Esq. on May 22, 2012 at 10:00am — 3 Comments

Divorce Innovations Seminar

We’ve got a seminar coming up June 23 and July 28.  Divorce Innovations will be presenting a seminar about the nuts and bolts of divorce, with attorneys talking about the law in Georgia.  Marsha Schechtman and Dr. Paul Fair will be talking about parenting plans, communication, and listening skills for people who are…

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Added by Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA on April 26, 2012 at 12:00pm — 1 Comment

Divorce Considerations for the Special Needs Child

We know that the divorce rate among all couples is about 50%, but there is no question that divorce rates are even higher among parents of children with special needs.

Below is an article written by Dr. Howard Drutman and Marsha Schechtman, LCSW. In this article they talk about the considerations that must be understood about the special needs child. In addition to their information we also have…

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Added by Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA on March 22, 2012 at 9:30am — No Comments

Top 10 Tips for Creating a Parenting Plan*

Separated, divorced and never-married parents often face the daunting task of creating a parenting plan for their children. Where do they start? Here is some straightforward, expert advice from the Florida AFCC Parenting Plans Taskforce to help the entire family through this very important process.



1. There Is No “One Size Fits All” Parenting Plan --
Parenting plans should be constructed to meet the unique needs of each family and each family member.



2.… Continue

Added by Cindy Harari on April 29, 2009 at 3:00pm — No Comments

Types of Alternative Dispute Resolution for Divorcing Families

When you decide to divorce, it’s important to note that you aren’t automatically setting yourself up for a long, drawn out process. Divorcing families can employ alternative dispute resolution techniques to limit the damage that divorce may cause. By choosing alternative dispute resolutions, couples can minimize the impact that divorce has on their children and their…

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Added by Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA on February 23, 2012 at 5:00pm — 1 Comment

Despite the Divorce, Take Charge of Yourself

Take a look at the diagram below:

The image above depicts something you see frequently in divorce—individuals whose personal selves are crowded out by that which surrounds them. I am quite certain that anyone going through a divorce can relate to not having enough time for herself. It also makes sense, there are so many competing demands and very often, just one parent instead of two. But this type of life just cannot hold up – you have to take charge of your…

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Added by Mark Banschick MD on February 23, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Strive For a “Good” Divorce Urges Celebrity Divorce Attorney Raoul Felder

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

 

Raoul Felder, often referred to as the Duke of Divorce, is known for his involvement with high profile celebrity divorces. After working for years with clients such as Elizabeth Taylor, Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, Robin Givens divorcing Mike Tyson and David Gest divorcing Lisa Minelli, he has finally written a book with the unexpected title, The Good Divorce. Felder admits he is tired of the drama, complexity and oversized egos he deals with in…

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Added by Rosalind Sedacca, CCT on March 29, 2011 at 8:39pm — No Comments

Relationship Fractals: Avoid Attorneys Who Urge Aggressive Divorce (the Lose-Lose Paradigm)!

People enmeshed in divorce naturally feel an impulse to hire the most aggressive divorce attorney they can find - fear drives that impulse. Some lawyers market their family law practices to target such client vulnerability. They advertise themselves as being "aggressive advocates" or "aggressive divorce lawyers". If you look at their websites they often also describe themselves as offering "compassionate representation" or "charitable divorce help." Which is it? Having it both ways is…

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Added by Thurman W. Arnold, III, CFLS on March 13, 2011 at 1:30pm — No Comments

Internet, Divorce and Children

The Internet opens worlds for us all, but for unhappily married folks, it opens up some dangers as well. People get divorced for many reasons, and this is an ancient truth. Anger, alcohol, hurt, coldness, money problems and infidelity are some of the most common. The Internet does not cause these problems by can accelerate some of them.



For instance, there are countless people in cyberspace who could be your lover. In the old days, meeting a person and having an affair was not that… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick, MD on July 1, 2010 at 11:25pm — No Comments

Is Online Divorce Filing A Sign of Economic Recovery?

Thank you to Peaceful Divorce member Lisa Decker for sharing the following timely information:
DivorceToday.com, a national provider of online divorce forms, reports that in 2010, increasing numbers of Americans turned to the Internet to file a divorce. This may be good news for the economy. According to economic experts, during times of acute economic distress, many people are deterred by financial insecurity from filing for divorce, which they delay until they feel more…
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Added by Cindy Harari on November 3, 2010 at 1:00pm — No Comments

A Peaceful Divorce Begins With You!

Thanks to member Krista Barth, Esq. who has provided this valuable message about how to create and maintain a peaceful divorce when you are a parent.

As a divorce attorney who has been through it myself, a peaceful divorce starts when people do the following:

1. Accept the part you each played in the failure of the marriage (even if the only fault was "picking the wrong partner for your needs.")

2. Lower your expectations… Continue

Added by Cynthia Tiano, Esq. on April 15, 2010 at 8:00am — 2 Comments

The 8_Step Formula for Postive Post-Divorce Parenting: Part 2

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT



Step #5: LEARN TO LET GO




If you truly want to move on from your divorce you must learn to let go of negative emotions that hold you hostage. These include anger, resentment, blame, jealousy, hatred and anxiety.…

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Added by Rosalind Sedacca, CCT on February 11, 2010 at 2:42pm — 2 Comments

The 8-Step Formula for Positive Post-Divorce Parenting: Part 1

Here is another great article from member Rosalind Sedacca, CCT



Parenting after divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world are coping with the challenges and raising happy, well-adjusted children. There are many factors that influence your effectiveness as a parent. In this two-part article we'll review some of the major components of the post-divorce parenting success formula.



Step 1: ATTITUDE



Attitude… Continue

Added by Cynthia Tiano, Esq. on December 11, 2009 at 12:27am — No Comments

Divorcing & Divorced Parents - Keep the Kids out of your Conflict!

Here is another great article from member Rosalind Sedacca, CCT:

When children get caught up in their parent's divorce conflicts, serious problems can develop that must be avoided at all costs. Regardless of your feelings about your ex or soon-to-be-former spouse, it is essential to keep that from your children.

Here are some excellent tips and advice offered by James Roberts, RSW, a licensed social worker in Missouri and Kansas and family therapist in Kansas. Mr. Roberts… Continue

Added by Cynthia Tiano, Esq. on October 7, 2009 at 11:30am — 1 Comment

If the Buddha Divorced

Helping clients take the peaceful path while divorcing is a two-pronged approach. There’s the behavioral piece (not hiring a killer attorney, not making your ex an enemy, not badmouthing your ex) and there’s the emotional piece. In my experience, clients need to commit emotionally to doing the inner work to avoid becoming a bitter victim. I have turned to some of the wisdom and compassion of Buddhism as a template for guiding clients to find that inner well-spring of peace, even while going… Continue

Added by Ashley Davis Bush on September 30, 2009 at 9:47am — 1 Comment

Divorce Lawyers and the Reptilian Brain

No one goes into marriage thinking they will divorce one day, but if half of all marriages end in divorce, as the statistics tell us, the chance of a couple staying together are about 50/50, which may be a good bet or bad bet - depending on whether or not you like to gamble.



There is only one sure bet about divorce, and that is this: hiring a divorce lawyer will only make things more expensive and nasty. I have seen some rackets in my day, but none surpass the self-serving nut house… Continue

Added by Belinda Rachman, Esq. on September 26, 2009 at 8:30pm — No Comments

4 Divorce Don’ts When Telling the Kids!

Here is a great article by our dear member Rosalind Sedacca, CCT. It's a must read!

* * *

Preparing to break the news to your kids that you’re divorcing their other parent? Feeling insecure about how to broach the subject? Wondering how much to share? How your children will react? How to handle their questions? How to deal with your special circumstances? What the experts suggest?



Well you’re not alone.



Talking about divorce to your children is tough. You… Continue

Added by Cynthia Tiano, Esq. on August 25, 2009 at 3:00pm — 1 Comment

Become an affiliate of the Happily Divorced! book and audio program! Let Reformed "Killer" Divorce Attorney, Cynthia Tiano, and Dr. Max Vogt, Marriage and Family Psychologist, take you on an adventure into the lives of two families going through the divorce legal system - one doing "legal battle" and the other creating a "peaceful divorce". Learn how to create a Win-Win from their experiences... HappilyDivorced.org


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Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Getting Divorced? Don’t Forget about Long Term Care Insurance!

Often when people go through a divorce, their emotions are tied up. The questions on their mind are “how does this marriage end?” and “what do I get financially?” When they do think about health insurance, they usually don't consider long-term care insurance (LTCi). Why is it so important for recently divorced or currently divorcing couples to think about long term care planning? Two…See More
Jul 5
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

The Grey Divorce

Perhaps you’ve heard about the phenomenon known as the “grey divorce” and are wondering what it’s all about. An important study conducted by the Department of Sociology and the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University entitled “The Grey Divorce Revolution” addressed this issue. I was attending the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts’…See More
Jun 7
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Elder Care Mediation

I recently attended a conference for The Academy of Professional Family Mediators in Memphis, Tennessee. One of the workshops I participated in was on elder care mediation, which gave some fascinating insights. A 2001 study, done by Debra B. Gentry, showed nearly 40% of adult children providing care for their parents reported serious conflict with siblings, usually related to a lack of sufficient help from those siblings. This study…See More
May 17
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Parallel Parenting: Making the Best of a Bad Situation

I very much appreciate working on divorce cases with a team, as it has so much value for clients. Mental health professionals can bring much-needed clarity to very difficult situations. The following article, written by Howard Dructman, PhD and Marsha Schechtman, LCSW, Atlanta Behavioral Consultants, explains how the concept of parallel parenting works:A literature…See More
Apr 11
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Why Do I Have to Prepare a Budget?

We all hate the word budget. How many times have you had a budget that never worked and only made life harder? And when you didn't follow it, did you feel like you failed?If a budget is done right, it will provide many benefits that are crucial when going through a divorce.A budget is a guideline to help you forecast how your cash flow will look.Having a budget keeps your priorities and values straight. Many…See More
Mar 23
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

The Difference Between Litigation and Mediation: It's Personal

People have a range of preconceptions about divorce, the law, and the courts. In reality, going before a judge to air your grievances about your soon-to-be ex-spouse is rarely as satisfying as movies and television shows may have you believe. Mediation offers a private, cost-efficient alternative to litigation—but before you choose either venue, there are some guiding principles to keep in mind:Don't expect…See More
Mar 7
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

The Taxes They Are A-Changing

Time flies when you’re having fun; here we find ourselves in a new year, with new challenges ahead—and of course our taxes are due. So let’s bring you up to date on some tax changes that we know of. (Remember this year could bring other tax changes that we don’t know about at this time).One big change is that 1099s have to be in to the IRS by January 31st of his…See More
Feb 7
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Social Security: How Do the New Rules Affect Divorced People?

The Association of Divorce Financial Planners held their annual conference this past October. One of the keynote speakers was Mary Beth Franklin, CFP, who is a contributing editor for Investment News. She spoke about the new Social Security rules and how to maximize benefits. Here is part of her talk relating to divorce:If married at least 10 years and currently unmarried, you may be able to collect on your ex-spouse’s work record as…See More
Dec 29, 2016
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

The Association of Divorce Financial Planners’ 2016 Divorce Catalyst Conference

I recently attended The Association of Divorce Financial Planners 2016 Divorce Catalyst Conference, held from October 27-29. There were a number of excellent speakers and interesting topics presented over the three days: Day OneThe keynote speaker was Jeff Brend. Jeff is an attorney who specializes in family law and is a fellow of the American Academy of…See More
Nov 23, 2016
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Self-Executing Modifications: Six Things Everyone Should Know

One of the things I have learned over the years is that I cannot be a Jack-of-all-trades and a master-of-none. In today’s ever-changing world, we need to have connections with professionals in other disciplines and specialties. This is especially true working in the divorce area.In the past, it was the attorney’s job to do everything. Today divorcing…See More
Oct 27, 2016
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Guest Blogger: Scott Evans Talks About HELOC

In my last blog, I had an article by Scott Evans about ARM Rates. This is a continuation of mortgages.  Scott Evans wrote about Home Equity Line Resets.  Home Equity Line ResetsFor some, other looming issues are Home…See More
Oct 18, 2016
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Scott Evans: Adjustable Rate Mortgages Set to Skyrocket?

One of the things I have learned over the years is that we cannot be a Jack-of-all-trades and a master-of-none. In today’s ever-changing world, we need to have connections with professionals in other disciplines and specialities. This is especially true working in the divorce area.I think it is important that we do the same thing and have our own list of…See More
Sep 29, 2016

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