Peaceful Divorce

January 2011 Blog Posts (6)

Divorce, Parenting, and ADHD

Approximately one in every twenty kids has ADHD. That is more than one child per classroom, not to mention that it is probably an underestimate. These kids are hyper, distracted, impulsive, poorly organized, and, well, irritating. They are often intelligent, but have difficulty learning due to their distracted state of mind. Their hyperactivity can be so intense that parents may feel like pulling out their own hair because they can’t keep up. But this is a real medical condition, and it can be… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on January 28, 2011 at 10:14am — No Comments

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Staying in an Unhealthy Relationship

In its simplest form, forgiveness means to not feel ill-will toward somebody who wronged you. It means to not be angry at that person anymore. If you are in a relationship with that person, it also means not to bring up the wrong in future arguments. If you’re forgiving an ex, it is a step toward healing and finding closure.

 

Many people don’t understand why I defend my ex. When I first share personal memories, a common reaction I get is “What an ass-hole!”

“No,” I say,…

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Added by Judy M. Graybill on January 20, 2011 at 7:42pm — No Comments

Forgiveness is Repetitive Not Solitary

Forgiveness is a must for anybody to have a healthy spirit. It is not a one-time action. It is repetitive. It should be sincere and come from the heart. It is a must in a healthy stepfamily.



Each member of a stepfamily needs to forgive. Parents would benefit by forgiving their ex-spouses, their childrens' other parent. This will make a huge impact on the emotional health of your children. If you feel negative emotions toward your ex, it could affect your ability to effectively… Continue

Added by Judy M. Graybill on January 20, 2011 at 7:30pm — No Comments

Adult Children of Divorce Learn how to Love from Television

Adult children of divorce have the toughest time having healthy relationships as an adult. They were unable to see a model of a healthy marriage as a child. This is particularly true of children whose parents had multiple unsuccessful relationships. Instead of learning how to have a long and lasting marriage, they learn how to argue, stonewall, criticize, manipulate, and finally to give up. On the reverse side, many ascertain that arguing is bad and avoid any and all confrontation.…

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Added by Judy M. Graybill on January 20, 2011 at 7:26pm — No Comments

Incomplete Grief is Overlooked as a Reason Relationships Fail

When people hear the word grief, they immediately think of mourning somebody's death. This is accurate, but it overlooks the many other ways of grieving. The  Random House Webster's Dictionary defines grief as "deep sorrow".  By that definition, it logically follows that people grieve the loss of their relationship or family after divorce. Unsurprisingly, the grief feels more harsh to kids. Yet, it afflicts adults in profound ways as well. If people don't allow themselves or their children…

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Added by Judy M. Graybill on January 20, 2011 at 7:21pm — No Comments

Starting Mediation After You Have Already Started Litigating Your Divorce Is Like Trying To Put A Fire Out After You Have Drenched It With Gasoline!*

Nothing about divorce is easy. Divorcing couples feel confused, stressed, angry and fearful. Their emotions are ignited and may seem out of control. But how the divorce evolves is in your hands and will affect you for years to come. Divorcing couples who start by litigating usually become more entrenched in their positions, more distrustful and more acrimonious because litigation fuels the fire by pitting one family member against the other! Starting mediation after you have already started…

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Added by Cindy Harari on January 16, 2011 at 1:30pm — No Comments

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Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

What Is a Caucus?

One of the guiding values in mediation and collaborative law is transparency. It comes with the territory when one is trying to establish trust with two different parties. Sometimes an issue may arise that one party may wish not to discuss in front of the other. If they both agree, separate meetings may take place. These meetings are called caucuses.Caucuses can be…See More
yesterday
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

How Important Is the Budget in Divorce Planning?

I think everyone’s least favorite word is BUDGET. Why don’t we want to hear that word? Think about it: We’re asking ourselves to do something we don’t want to do — or worse yet, someone else is asking us to do it. While we might not like them, having a budget does help. In divorce planning — whether you are going to litigation,…See More
Sep 18
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

21st Century Parenting Plans

I remember when the default custody arrangement had one parent as the custodial parent, and the other parent was known as the “Disneyland parent.” They had their children every other weekend, and maybe once during the week for dinner. Today it is more common to see joint parenting time consist of one week on, and one week off or “two-two-five-five” time,…See More
Aug 15
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Including a Financial Professional in Your Mediation

Very often, couples who are divorcing amicably, or who have straightforward financial situations, will forgo meeting with a financial professional while they go through mediation. Though this may seem logical on its face, “going it alone” may result in unnecessary hardship and inaccurate calculations.  It is easy to simply look at a tax table today and say “I am going…See More
Jul 30
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

What About the House?

Going through divorce means dealing with hundreds of details, some more important than others. One detail that merits extra contemplation is how to deal with the marital home.Does one spouse want to keep it because the children still live there? You don't want to disrupt their lives any more than is already happening. What if the children are grown? Do you still need that much of a house?Here are the three most common means of dealing with the house in divorce:Selling the house and dividing the…See More
Apr 24

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