Peaceful Divorce

January 2011 Blog Posts (6)

Divorce, Parenting, and ADHD

Approximately one in every twenty kids has ADHD. That is more than one child per classroom, not to mention that it is probably an underestimate. These kids are hyper, distracted, impulsive, poorly organized, and, well, irritating. They are often intelligent, but have difficulty learning due to their distracted state of mind. Their hyperactivity can be so intense that parents may feel like pulling out their own hair because they can’t keep up. But this is a real medical condition, and it can be… Continue

Added by Mark Banschick MD on January 28, 2011 at 10:14am — No Comments

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Staying in an Unhealthy Relationship

In its simplest form, forgiveness means to not feel ill-will toward somebody who wronged you. It means to not be angry at that person anymore. If you are in a relationship with that person, it also means not to bring up the wrong in future arguments. If you’re forgiving an ex, it is a step toward healing and finding closure.

 

Many people don’t understand why I defend my ex. When I first share personal memories, a common reaction I get is “What an ass-hole!”

“No,” I say,…

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Added by Judy M. Graybill on January 20, 2011 at 7:42pm — No Comments

Forgiveness is Repetitive Not Solitary

Forgiveness is a must for anybody to have a healthy spirit. It is not a one-time action. It is repetitive. It should be sincere and come from the heart. It is a must in a healthy stepfamily.



Each member of a stepfamily needs to forgive. Parents would benefit by forgiving their ex-spouses, their childrens' other parent. This will make a huge impact on the emotional health of your children. If you feel negative emotions toward your ex, it could affect your ability to effectively… Continue

Added by Judy M. Graybill on January 20, 2011 at 7:30pm — No Comments

Adult Children of Divorce Learn how to Love from Television

Adult children of divorce have the toughest time having healthy relationships as an adult. They were unable to see a model of a healthy marriage as a child. This is particularly true of children whose parents had multiple unsuccessful relationships. Instead of learning how to have a long and lasting marriage, they learn how to argue, stonewall, criticize, manipulate, and finally to give up. On the reverse side, many ascertain that arguing is bad and avoid any and all confrontation.…

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Added by Judy M. Graybill on January 20, 2011 at 7:26pm — No Comments

Incomplete Grief is Overlooked as a Reason Relationships Fail

When people hear the word grief, they immediately think of mourning somebody's death. This is accurate, but it overlooks the many other ways of grieving. The  Random House Webster's Dictionary defines grief as "deep sorrow".  By that definition, it logically follows that people grieve the loss of their relationship or family after divorce. Unsurprisingly, the grief feels more harsh to kids. Yet, it afflicts adults in profound ways as well. If people don't allow themselves or their children…

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Added by Judy M. Graybill on January 20, 2011 at 7:21pm — No Comments

Starting Mediation After You Have Already Started Litigating Your Divorce Is Like Trying To Put A Fire Out After You Have Drenched It With Gasoline!*

Nothing about divorce is easy. Divorcing couples feel confused, stressed, angry and fearful. Their emotions are ignited and may seem out of control. But how the divorce evolves is in your hands and will affect you for years to come. Divorcing couples who start by litigating usually become more entrenched in their positions, more distrustful and more acrimonious because litigation fuels the fire by pitting one family member against the other! Starting mediation after you have already started…

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Added by Cindy Harari on January 16, 2011 at 1:30pm — No Comments

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Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

What About the House?

Going through divorce means dealing with hundreds of details, some more important than others. One detail that merits extra contemplation is how to deal with the marital home.Does one spouse want to keep it because the children still live there? You don't want to disrupt their lives any more than is already happening. What if the children are grown? Do you still need that much of a house?Here are the three most common means of dealing with the house in divorce:Selling the house and dividing the…See More
Apr 24
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Child Support for Special Needs Children

We know that the divorce rate among all couples is about 50%, but there is no question that divorce rates are even higher among parents of children with special needs.Below is an article that was written by Dr. Howard Drutman and Marsha Schechtman, LCSW. In this article, they talk about the considerations that must be understood about the special needs child. In addition to their information, we also have to think…See More
Mar 28
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

An Email From the IRS? Don't Believe It

Scam artists have developed a new tactic in cheating taxpayers out of their hard-earned money.Transcript fraud is when taxpayers are lured into opening an attachment that is supposed to be their tax transcript. In fact, the attachment contains malware that will intercept all of your outgoing data, with the intent of capturing account numbers. From there, the thieves withdraw the money and the taxpayer is left without…See More
Feb 21
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

2018 Taxes & Divorce: There Is Still Time

If you are getting divorced or just got divorced the last thing on your mind is taxes. It is important to remember that if you got divorced anytime in 2018 (even Dec. 31, 2018), you will be considered divorced for the whole year of 2018. What does that mean for taxes?It could mean a higher tax bill than you thought.  If you are receiving alimony this year it will be taxable to you.  If you are…See More
Dec 28, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Tax Tips for the Recently Divorced

We are only 4 weeks away from the end of the year. What does that mean for people who have gotten divorced in 2018?It means you have to get ready to file your tax returns for the year ending 2018 by April 15, 2019, or else extend it. Remember, just because you extend it, you still have to pay any tax that you owe by April 15, 2019.If you got divorced in 2017, here are some items you need to think about for tax…See More
Dec 12, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

An Elegant Solution: The Child Support Account

Today I’m pleased to bring you a special guest blog written by my colleague Steve Erickson. In his 35 years of experience, Steve has come up with a novel approach to child support that shifts couples away from being adversarial and toward collaboration. This method is called the Child Support Account, and it was originally proposed…See More
Nov 15, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Withholding: A Down Payment, not a Tax

In my experience, many people do not know the difference between the withholding amount (the taxes deducted on your pay stub) and their tax liability. All they know is that they don’t have the money. They think they’re square with the government, and are surprised if they owe any amount on top of what was withheld. That’s why I thought it would be useful to review the…See More
Oct 25, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Divorce & Support Payments – When Can You Use it to Qualify for a Mortgage?

One of the things I have learned over the years is that we cannot be a Jack-of-all-trades and a master-of-none. In today’s ever-changing world, we need to have connections with professionals in other disciplines and specialities. This is especially true with divorce professionals. I think it is important that practitioners have a network of specialists on which to draw. Today I am going to do just…See More
Oct 4, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Projecting Your 2018 Taxes

Have you thought about doing a tax projection for 2018?Obviously, this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. However, no one wants to be surprised around tax time. Here’s why you should get a head start on knowing the new tax law and how it will affect you and/or your business in the coming tax year.We are seven months into the New Year. You may not be aware that we have a new tax law that went into effect on December 22, 2017, or that most of the provisions took effect on January 1, 2018.Here are some…See More
Aug 23, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Mediators: The Swiss Army Knife of Divorce

Today I’m featuring an article by a colleague of mine named Martin Kranitz. Martin, a mediator in Maryland, has obtained certification from the Maryland Council for Dispute Resolution, one of the first organizations to provide mediator certification based on demonstrated performance rather than just education and mediation courses taken.  In this piece, Martin discusses one of the many functions a mediator can play,…See More
Jul 12, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

The Top 3 Reasons to Choose Mediation

As attitudes change about marriage and divorce, mediation has become an attractive alternative to traditional litigation. Still, some people are wary of it. The good news is that the facts support mediation, and in this post I provide a “cheat sheet” to help you persuade a reticent spouse into the process.Control: You and your spouse get to control the speed of the process. You both get to make…See More
Jun 5, 2018
Robert D. Bordett, CFP, CDFA posted a blog post

Things We Don’t Think About When Getting Divorced

Financial issues are a big part of the difficulty of divorce, in part because people don’t realize there are certain contracts that take precedence over divorce decrees. In fact, that’s the number one misconception that people seem to have. Being able to identify financial issues can help take away some of the pitfalls and stresses that can arise…See More
May 31, 2018

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