All Blog Posts (251)

As attitudes change about marriage and divorce, mediation has become an attractive alternative to traditional litigation. Still, some people are wary of it. The good news is that the facts support mediation, and in this post I provide a “cheat sheet” to help you persuade a reticent spouse into the process.

1. Control: You and your spouse get to control…

Financial issues are a big part of the difficulty of divorce, in part because people don’t realize there are certain contracts that take precedence over divorce decrees. In fact, that’s the number one misconception that people seem to have. Being able to identify financial issues can help take away some…

So you’ve chosen a mediator to work with you and your spouse on your divorce. Where do you go from here?

You can start with what to bring to the first session of the mediation. Most mediators will have a list of all of the documents you’ll need. There is usually also an intake form that asks about each of you, the children, and other information about the marriage.  

In mediation,…

The main component of mediation is the mediator. That is why it’s important to make sure you select the right mediator to help you in your unique situation. Many times mediators are chosen by the attorneys, especially in court-ordered mediation — but in private mediation the parties may just look to choose the mediator.

Below is a short list with some items you…

As we know the President signed the 2018 tax reform law into effect on December 22, 2017. This is the largest tax code overhaul in more than 3 decades.

Most of the provisions in the TCJA will take effect on January 1, 2018. Most of the provisions affecting individuals are temporary and sunset after 2025, while the majority of the business provisions are permanent.

Most individual…

Deep in the 429 pages of the House Republican tax bill is a provision with financial consequences for couples getting divorced.

People looking to get divorced and people writing alimony checks would have to pay tax on those payments. Under current tax law, alimony payments are tax-deductible to the party paying and taxable to the party receiving them. Under the new proposal that would end.

Here is the rationale for making these changes: The proposal would…

We are only 10 weeks away from the end of the year. What does that mean for people who have gotten divorced in 2017?

It means you have to get ready to file your tax returns for the year ending 2017 by April 16, 2018 (April 15 falls on a Sunday so you can file your return on April 16) or extend it. Remember, just because you extend…

Divorce is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through. In addition to the emotional component, financial issues weigh heavily on the minds of the parties to any divorce. Unfortunately, there are just some things that don’t follow any logic and you just have to know. Here are a few of the most common: 

• What filing status options do I have if I am separated from my…

When I got trained in mediation, we were told that you either did solo mediation (one mediator) or co-mediation (two mediators). Since then, divorce professionals have learned that there are endless permutations of effective methods to mediate. In this post, I describe a few of the arrangements I have encountered in the 30 years I have been doing…

In January of this year, I was honored to be featured in Stress-Free Divorce: Leading Divorce Professionals Speak. Unfortunately, something happened to me that has been happening all of my life: the book was published giving me credit as Robert B-O-R-D-E-T-T-E. I suppose it’s better than Bordebt, but it still makes …

In a divorce decree, if any amount of specified money becomes reduced:

1. Upon the happening of any contingency related to the child or
2. At a time that can be clearly associated with a contingency related to the child, then the amount of the reduction will be treated as child support, rather than alimony. 
   
   Code Sec. 71(c)(2). Reg.…

Normally, distributions made before a participant attains age 59 1/2 are called “early distributions” and are subject to a 10% penalty tax. The tax does not apply, though, to early distributions upon death, disability, annuity payments for the life expectancy of the individual, or distributions made to an ex-spouse by a QDRO.

The tax Reg (72)(t)(2)(C) states that when you take money out…

After divorce, people often forget to take care of a few small but very important details, such as:

• Joint auto Insurance policies;
• Amending will and life insurance beneficiaries; and
• Switching accounts for bills that are on autopay.

In regards to auto insurance and divorce, many couples get discounts due to being tied to their residence or having multiple vehicles. When considering the removal of a spouse from a joint policy,…

Often when people go through a divorce, their emotions are tied up. The questions on their mind are “how does this marriage end?” and “what do I get financially?” When they do think about health insurance, they usually don't consider long-term care insurance (LTCi). Why is it so important for recently divorced or currently divorcing couples to think about long term…

Perhaps you’ve heard about the phenomenon known as the “grey divorce” and are wondering what it’s all about. An important study conducted by the Department of Sociology and the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University entitled “The Grey Divorce Revolution” addressed this issue. I was attending the Institute for Divorce…

I recently attended a conference for The Academy of Professional Family Mediators in Memphis, Tennessee. One of the workshops I participated in was on elder care mediation, which gave some fascinating insights. A 2001 study, done by Debra B. Gentry, showed nearly 40% of adult children providing care for their parents reported serious conflict with siblings, usually related to a lack of sufficient help from those…

I very much appreciate working on divorce cases with a team, as it has so much value for clients. Mental health professionals can bring much-needed clarity to very difficult situations. The following article, written by Howard Dructman, PhD and Marsha Schechtman, LCSW, Atlanta Behavioral Consultants, explains how the concept of parallel…

We all hate the word budget. How many times have you had a budget that never worked and only made life harder? And when you didn't follow it, did you feel like you failed?

If a budget is done right, it will provide many benefits that are crucial when going through a divorce.

• A budget is a guideline to…

People have a range of preconceptions about divorce, the law, and the courts. In reality, going before a judge to air your grievances about your soon-to-be ex-spouse is rarely as satisfying as movies and television shows may have you believe. Mediation offers a private, cost-efficient alternative to litigation—but before you choose either venue, there are some guiding principles to keep…

Time flies when you’re having fun; here we find ourselves in a new year, with new challenges ahead—and of course our taxes are due. So let’s bring you up to date on some tax changes that we know of. (Remember this year could bring other tax changes that we don’t know about at this time).

One big change is that 1099s have to be…