Peaceful Divorce

Cynthia Tiano, Esq.
  • Palm Beach County, Florida
  • United States
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Started Feb. 5, 2008

Which Piece of the Peaceful Divorce Puzzle Do You Have?
58 Replies

Started this discussion. Last reply by Cynthia Tiano, Esq. Sep. 21, 2009.

How Can We Bridge The Gap Between Divorce Attorneys And Mental Health Professionals?
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Started this discussion. Last reply by Cynthia Tiano, Esq. Feb. 22, 2009.

 

Cynthia Tiano, Esq., Peaceful Divorce Mediator

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About Me:
I am a reformed "killer" divorce attorney, author and peaceful divorce mediator. My vision is to bring the message of peaceful divorce to the world in a very big way, and to change the usual divorce advice and divorce help to support peaceful divorce. I created this website because I want you to join me!

I have been a divorce attorney in Palm Beach County Florida for 28 years. I was in the trenches doing legal battle until I created my own peaceful divorce. Now for the past 14 years I have exclusively practiced divorce mediation to help couples create a peaceful divorce for themselves and their families.

I am the co-Author of "Happily Divorced! Secrets of the Win-Win Formula" book and audio series which provides a never before revealed look into the real world of divorce, and shows, step-by-step, how to create a peaceful divorce!

Websites:

http://HappilyDivorced.org
http://CynthiaTiano.com

email: Cynthia@PeacefulDivorce.org
phone: 954.561.0105
Website:
http://www.CynthiaTiano.com


HappilyDivorced.org
The gripping tales in "Happily Divorced!" take you deep into the never-before-revealed real psycho-legal world of divorce! This book is guaranteed to change the way the world divorces from the battleground to a peaceful divorce!

Cynthia Tiano, Esq.'s Videos

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Cynthia Tiano, Esq.

The 8-Step Formula for Positive Post-Divorce Parenting: Part 1

Here is another great article from member Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

Parenting after divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world are coping with the challenges and raising happy, well-adjusted children. There are many factors that influence your effectiveness as a parent. In this two-part article we'll review some of the major components of the post-divorce parenting success formula.

Step 1: ATTITUDE

Attitude plays a big part in the success… Continue

Posted on December 11, 2009 at 12:27am —

Cynthia Tiano, Esq.

Divorcing & Divorced Parents - Keep the Kids out of your Conflict!

Here is another great article from member Rosalind Sedacca, CCT:
When children get caught up in their parent's divorce conflicts, serious problems can develop that must be avoided at all costs. Regardless of your feelings about your ex or soon-to-be-former spouse, it is essential to keep that from your children.
Here are some excellent tips and advice offered by James Roberts, RSW, a licensed social worker in Missouri and Kansas and family therapist in Kansas. Mr. Roberts practices with M… Continue

Posted on October 7, 2009 at 11:30am — 1 Comment

Cynthia Tiano, Esq.

4 Divorce Don’ts When Telling the Kids!

Here is a great article by our dear member Rosalind Sedacca, CCT. It's a must read!
* * *
Preparing to break the news to your kids that you’re divorcing their other parent? Feeling insecure about how to broach the subject? Wondering how much to share? How your children will react? How to handle their questions? How to deal with your special circumstances? What the experts suggest?

Well you’re not alone.

Talking about divorce to your children is tough. You don’t want to make mistakes you… Continue

Posted on August 25, 2009 at 3:00pm —

Cynthia Tiano, Esq.

Peaceful Divorce Model Approved!

The Florida Bar has approved the course proposal submitted by Peaceful Divorce Project, consisting of your very own Peaceful Divorce Members Cynthia Tiano, Esq., Cindy Harari, Esq. and John T. Mulhull III, Esq.

This first course is "Introduction to the Peaceful Divorce Model," an intermediate level course with ethics credit. This means we will be teaching THE LAWYERS about Peaceful Divorce.

We plan to create Peaceful Divorce education and certification programs for coaches, mediators, p… Continue

Posted on July 30, 2009 at 3:30pm — 1 Comment

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At 9:00am on January 25, 2010, Deborah Divine said…
Thanks Cynthia,
I have been through a TransParenting (what it is called in our area) class that was mandated by our court system. Currently my husband and I are in mediation. It seems to be going very slowly. I love the idea of transparenting but then I look at who I am dealing with and it just fills me with dread. We have (against my better judgement) agreed to 50/50 parenting...one week with me, one week with him. Our oldest daughter (15 1/2) doesn't like it at all and is afraid her life will change drastically. I told her it shouldn't be any different than what her life is now except of where she will sleep. Our youngest daughter (12) is fine with it and actually wanted it that way.
Now, I am concerned about the financial aspect of everything. He has always paid all bills relating to the house and I have always paid bills pertaining to medical, vehicles and maintenance of the girls and I. I have always had a 401K and as far as I know he has no type of savings whatsoever. Knowing how he is about always coming out on top in situations like this...I want to be sure everything is done fairly. He is a realtor by profession. I am an administrative assistant. I am not looking to be vindictive but since he isn't willing to relinquish the house (says he can't afford to go out and get another one) I feel I am left to do so. As of now, we are currently in the same house which isn't doing anyone (especially the girls and I) any good. I have never been a vindictive person and don't plan on starting now. We both have secured seperate legal counsel but everytime I call with a question I see $$ signs going out the window...it is unreal!
One question I do have is this...in our state (IN) everything is 50/50 so where does the responsibility of bills end? From the date I filed? or is he able to go out and wrack up credit card bills in expectations of me having to pay 1/2?
Any help or direction you could give me would be greatly appreciated.Delete Comment
At 3:06pm on November 2, 2009, Melanie Brubaker said…
The puzzle piece I bring to the table of the peaceful divorce is my ability to bring equilibrium or realistic expectations to the final outcome and to keep the importance of the children at the forefront but not in the line of fire. I keep my clients informed throughout the process as a means to calm the divorce angst as much as possible. I also believe in empowering my clients by guiding him/her to the resources s/he will need to achieve a win/win outcome for a healthy, vibrant family post-divorce.
At 2:39pm on July 6, 2009, Brooke Deratany Goldfarb said…
Hi, Cynthia, Although I am a lawyer, I'm happiest when I play the role of mediator because I enjoy encouraging both parties to express themselves and working out language that everyone can live with. As I am a lawyer by training, I also enjoy working in a collaborative divorce. Most of the time I work as the mediator and I bring in a financial advisor to help the couple with the numbers and sometimes a mental health therapist to help with the parent coordination, all of us as neutrals. The couple truly benefits from having a "divorce transition team" in place. I never give up on the couple. I stand for the resolution of all issues. I'm kind of the cheerleader and coach for the couple as well as the drafter of the documents. I also try to keep them laughing and diffuse the tension with humor.
At 1:40pm on June 24, 2009, Kristi Sutter said…
Hi Cynthia,
My piece to the peaceful divorce puzzle is helping individuals explore their childhood experiences and relationships and how they use these to select a partner. Looking at their attempt to repeat what is familiar to them, or attempt repairing what is familiar but not satisfying, can be life changing. I have seen the anger decrease between partners when each realizes that their being together was not a chance happening. Understanding this process can produce compassion for each partner's struggle taking blame away. This is a difficult process. Some partners would rather blame and stay angry. Those who can look at themselves will grow, change and look at divorce as an opportunity.
At 9:24am on June 17, 2009, Cindy S. Vova said…
Hi Cynthia,
First, can you tell me how to edit my profiel so I can get rid of the typo.---going too many directions at one time. WOuld like to get more involved. Cindy H and I have been batting around ideas. Maybe we can all meet one day this summer and chat? Let me know your thoughts
Cindy Vova
At 7:58pm on May 17, 2009, Miki said…
I thought I did leave a comment..one being that there is NO RESOURCES available to folks not interested in utilizing an attorney and/or Mediator...one in the same aside from the fact one is less costlier than the other..I"m looking for resources that would GUIDE ME THROUGH A PRO SE DIVORCE...but I do understand, it is in the best interest of Professionals to promote business and this would be the avenue. Feel free to send me info if you have it available for interested PRO SE parties...I would really appreciate free advice that would assist me ..and not advertisements for their BUSINESS SERVICES....

Thanks for your info!
Yes Peaceful indeed and I would like to know, have you been through a divorce? I think it should be a requirement for the attornies who specialize in the field to have been through the process..it would then be viewed as much more GENUINE ADVICE! Don't you agree?

Again, thanks and all the best look forward to hearing back from you!
MK
At 1:54am on March 28, 2009, Holly said…
While I usually represent one party in a divorce with respect to the division of retirement benefits--I am sometimes retained by both parties to counsel/mediate the terms of their agreement as to this issue and/or to draft the necessary documents (usually court orders known as "QDROs") so that the retirement division may be effectuated by the applicable plans. When I am in the neutral role I serve as an educator so that the parties can make an informed decision about how best to proceed.
At 9:52pm on March 17, 2009, JoAnn said…
Thanks for the welcome. I don't see a time zone on the teleconferences. That would be helpful. I'm in CDT.
At 5:45pm on February 17, 2009, Rory Godowsky said…
Hi Cynthia
I am very pleased to be a part of this group. I have been a divorce attorney in Delaware for thiry years. I have beena mediator for 15. I am interested in learning more about what you plan to do as a group. I am interested in becoming more involved.
Rory Godowsky
At 9:44am on February 17, 2009, J. Richard Kulerski said…
Cynthia,

Thank you for welcoming me into the group.

My piece of the peaceful divorce puzzle addresses something that society and our predecessors in divorce seem to have overlooked.

If we want to learn how to drive, we take lessons. It's the same with karate, dancing, golf, driving, breast feeding, etc.. There are even instructions and tips for learning how to sell a yo-yo on eBay.

But they never gave us any lessons on how to get divorced. No one tells us what to say and do (and not say and do!) if we hope to persuade our partner to agree to a peaceful, out-of-court settlement.

If society had never required driving instruction, we would have just experienced a century of unnecessary car wrecks. Without specific instruction on how to behave during one-on-one spousal settlement conversations, we have, in fact, already experienced a century of divorce wrecks/wars, many of which were likely unnecessary.

I have come across many newly revealed and effective things that divorcing spouses can now do to entice their spouses to join them in making their ordeal quicker, saner, and more affordable. I plan on sharing these insights with the group.

The more I learn is the more I realize that I need to learn, and whatever I have to offer is certainly far from complete.

I sincerely ask for and welcome any and all input.

I can't remember my nickname.

Richard Kulerski

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Become an affiliate of the Happily Divorced! book and audio program! Let Reformed "Killer" Divorce Attorney, Cynthia Tiano, and Dr. Max Vogt, Marriage and Family Psychologist, take you on an adventure into the lives of two families going through the divorce legal system - one doing "legal battle" and the other creating a "peaceful divorce". Learn how to create a Win-Win from their experiences... HappilyDivorced.org

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Thank you Cindy, 100% agreed! now tell South Africa and the world !!!
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International Alliance of Holistic Lawyers
Holistic law is hard to define. It often seems more a process than a particular method of practicing law. However, there seem to be some common threads among holistic lawyers, which may lead to a practical definition of holistic law.
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the time has come for mediation to be the preferred method to resolve all divorce-related issues for families -- litigation hurts families and should be avoided!
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Mediation is the cheaper, quicker, preferable and less traumatic option to litigation.
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So, are you one of those? Are you one of those women who define themselves by their divorce? There was a time when I was. My “story” was that I was a divorced woman going through a really rough time. And that clearly, I could not be expected to b…
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Chantal Kur commented on Chantal Kur's group 'DIVORCE MEDIATIONS'
Sounds good. All Mediators are supposed to bear ALL parties to the divorce in mind, which is certainly what I do, as I work with the couple to take into account everybodys needs and form a settlement that is fair, reasonable and in the best interest…
February 17

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