Suggestions on dating with kids

[Fran Brochstein, J.D.]

I'm twice divorced with a kid.

Here are a few thoughts:

1. Don't discuss "dating" with your kids.
This is adult business. (They don't want to think about you being a sexual being!)

2. Don't let the date meet your kids for at least 6 months.

3. Don't have your date spend the night when the kids are there.

4. Teen-agers don't like to think about their parents being sexual. (My parents divorced when I was in my 30's and I was a divorce lawyer -- it still bothered me when they talked about their sex lives -- way toooo much information!)

5. Remember your kids learn from your behavior.

6. Develop a sense of humor! (Of course, this is always a good idea when you have children!)

7. Date a person for at least a year -- 4 seasons before you get serious.

8. A therapist once told me that anyone can behave for 90 days. (I learned that the hard way!)

9. Is it love or lust? Lust usually burns out in approximately 6 months. If its love, it will get better with age.

10. I learned this the hard way -- don't let your kids get attached to the new person. It will hurt doubly bad when you break up and you see your children in pain.