Every member of this site has their own unique message around the issue of Peaceful Divorce. When we each share the piece that we have with one another, we can put the puzzle together! Please share with us what your mission and your message is!
How many ways can Peaceful Divorce appeal to people? It has economic advantages, psychological advantages, etc. -- except for those who are caught up in anger, upset, revenge and the professionals who are more than willing to "fuel the fire."
So many couples are doing their divorce pro se -- they are representing themselves. That's one way to save money, but not necessarily the best way. I really believe there is a place for sound legal advice and people can benefit from that. I'm totally in favor of educating the clients! Then they can find professionals to work with them to create a peaceful divorce instead of a divorce war!
I'm ready to talk that talk to the media.... its such a no brainer. One of the things that is hard to articulate for client consumption is that the financial results are going to be about the same whether they agree to it in pre suit mediation or whether they go to war, the difference being the dramatically larger fee for war. It is also hard to make people understand how profoundly difficult it is to be a party in a contested divorce, with your life under a microscope and ruled by calls/letters from your lawyer's office constantly scheduling, cancelling and rescheduling events that never seem to lead to any resolution.
I totally agree, which is why my mission has become telling my story to help people understand what it is like to struggle through a litigious divorce. The divorce and post divorce court battles, all instigated by my former spouse, have been in my life for 12 years now. The end result? We've gone from wealthy to poor and my children have suffered greatly. What people don't understand is that the court becomes a new weapon for an abuser to use to destroy a separated spouse and ex.
That's a great point! In fact, I believe that couples are actually moving in that direction. Now we're gearing up to get the divorce attorneys on board, teaching them the Peaceful Divorce principles, and to utilize coaches and other professionals to create that win-win!
I had the poster couple come to my office last week. They have spent over $100,000 on attorney fees in 11 months. They had a 5 month marriage with no community debts or assets but they had a 3 year old child who was born before they got married. The wife had inherited $2,000,000 so her lawyer, who actually HAS a stuffed shark in his office, would NEVER have let this case settle and after all the police calls, restraining orders, etc. this couple HATED each other with a purple passion. After spending less than a hour and a half with me we had come to a complete agreement and they came back today to sign their final settlement agreement. In fact at the end of the meeting last week they hugged and today we amended the petition to legal separation so she could stay on his insurance. She is spending the night at his house tonight so she can go to her lawyers office to get the substitution of attorney signed then she will pick up the kid and take her up to Los Angeles. (dad lives in San Diego). She was so upset that they hadn't met me $100.000 ago. When I asked what made the difference last week she said that when I told them that they could either put their attorney's kids through college or their own, she realized what a waste the fight had been. They wrote an amazing testimonial for me which I will add to my website. They are classic examples of being played by the system and their own lawyers. How do we get the word out?
Great work! Get that testimonial up on your website, your blog and use it in articles you submit to other sites and ezines. (like divorce360.com and firstwivesworld.com) Send me the articles and I'd be pleased to use it in my ezine, as well. We can all play a part in spreading the word. Let's make this an ongoing part of our business strategies. We have a message worth sharing!
What you are talking about is at the root of the Spiritual Divorce principles and so necessary in the world today. Knowing that a divorce is actually a door way and all that is happening is a change in the relationship, not a necessarily a loss or ending. That there is no being right, only being whole and full of new possibility as we move out of one phase in a relationship into a new more empowered and inpsirational phase.
Maybe there is no need for confrontation, litigation, or medation if two people get that they were brought together to learn a lesson and love each other for providing that opportunity to learn. There is an alternative to the legal method and that is healing the wounds that were hurt in the relationship before you try to settle in court. A divorce is nothing more than picking the scar of an emotional wound from a hurt that happened long before the this relationship started. Feel the feelings and heal the hurt. Represent yourself and your partner at your and their highest
I so agree with you and it's so important to spread understanding about what you are saying and how it can be done. Couples are not getting this message and therefore miss the opportunity to even contemplate looking at their relationship as a lesson and gift to one another. Would be happy to share an article you write about this for my ezine. I touch on this philosophical perspective in my own book, but it needs to be repeated and validated by therapists and other divorce professionals again and again to make an impact on the divorcing population.
My mission is to wipe victim mentality off the face of the planet by helping people create a sustainable culture of compassion in our relationships - ALL of them. And creating a healthier relationship with a former spouse or partner is critical to maintaining peace of mind, body and spirit.
My contribution to this is through teaching skills for conscious choice and compassionate communication.
Become an affiliate of the Happily Divorced! book and audio program! Let Reformed "Killer" Divorce Attorney, Cynthia Tiano, and Dr. Max Vogt, Marriage and Family Psychologist, take you on an adventure into the lives of two families going through the divorce legal system - one doing "legal battle" and the other creating a "peaceful divorce". Learn how to create a Win-Win from their experiences... HappilyDivorced.org
One of the guiding values in mediation and collaborative law is transparency. It comes with the territory when one is trying to establish trust with two different parties. Sometimes an issue may arise that one party may wish not to discuss in front of the other. If they both agree, separate meetings may take place. These meetings are called caucuses.Caucuses can be…See More
I think everyone’s least favorite word is BUDGET. Why don’t we want to hear that word? Think about it: We’re asking ourselves to do something we don’t want to do — or worse yet, someone else is asking us to do it. While we might not like them, having a budget does help. In divorce planning — whether you are going to litigation,…See More
I remember when the default custody arrangement had one parent as the custodial parent, and the other parent was known as the “Disneyland parent.” They had their children every other weekend, and maybe once during the week for dinner. Today it is more common to see joint parenting time consist of one week on, and one week off or “two-two-five-five” time,…See More
Very often, couples who are divorcing amicably, or who have straightforward financial situations, will forgo meeting with a financial professional while they go through mediation. Though this may seem logical on its face, “going it alone” may result in unnecessary hardship and inaccurate calculations. It is easy to simply look at a tax table today and say “I am going…See More
Going through divorce means dealing with hundreds of details, some more important than others. One detail that merits extra contemplation is how to deal with the marital home.Does one spouse want to keep it because the children still live there? You don't want to disrupt their lives any more than is already happening. What if the children are grown? Do you still need that much of a house?Here are the three most common means of dealing with the house in divorce:Selling the house and dividing the…See More