Every member of this site has their own unique message around the issue of Peaceful Divorce. When we each share the piece that we have with one another, we can put the puzzle together! Please share with us what your mission and your message is!
How many ways can Peaceful Divorce appeal to people? It has economic advantages, psychological advantages, etc. -- except for those who are caught up in anger, upset, revenge and the professionals who are more than willing to "fuel the fire."
So many couples are doing their divorce pro se -- they are representing themselves. That's one way to save money, but not necessarily the best way. I really believe there is a place for sound legal advice and people can benefit from that. I'm totally in favor of educating the clients! Then they can find professionals to work with them to create a peaceful divorce instead of a divorce war!
I'm ready to talk that talk to the media.... its such a no brainer. One of the things that is hard to articulate for client consumption is that the financial results are going to be about the same whether they agree to it in pre suit mediation or whether they go to war, the difference being the dramatically larger fee for war. It is also hard to make people understand how profoundly difficult it is to be a party in a contested divorce, with your life under a microscope and ruled by calls/letters from your lawyer's office constantly scheduling, cancelling and rescheduling events that never seem to lead to any resolution.
I totally agree, which is why my mission has become telling my story to help people understand what it is like to struggle through a litigious divorce. The divorce and post divorce court battles, all instigated by my former spouse, have been in my life for 12 years now. The end result? We've gone from wealthy to poor and my children have suffered greatly. What people don't understand is that the court becomes a new weapon for an abuser to use to destroy a separated spouse and ex.
That's a great point! In fact, I believe that couples are actually moving in that direction. Now we're gearing up to get the divorce attorneys on board, teaching them the Peaceful Divorce principles, and to utilize coaches and other professionals to create that win-win!
I had the poster couple come to my office last week. They have spent over $100,000 on attorney fees in 11 months. They had a 5 month marriage with no community debts or assets but they had a 3 year old child who was born before they got married. The wife had inherited $2,000,000 so her lawyer, who actually HAS a stuffed shark in his office, would NEVER have let this case settle and after all the police calls, restraining orders, etc. this couple HATED each other with a purple passion. After spending less than a hour and a half with me we had come to a complete agreement and they came back today to sign their final settlement agreement. In fact at the end of the meeting last week they hugged and today we amended the petition to legal separation so she could stay on his insurance. She is spending the night at his house tonight so she can go to her lawyers office to get the substitution of attorney signed then she will pick up the kid and take her up to Los Angeles. (dad lives in San Diego). She was so upset that they hadn't met me $100.000 ago. When I asked what made the difference last week she said that when I told them that they could either put their attorney's kids through college or their own, she realized what a waste the fight had been. They wrote an amazing testimonial for me which I will add to my website. They are classic examples of being played by the system and their own lawyers. How do we get the word out?
Great work! Get that testimonial up on your website, your blog and use it in articles you submit to other sites and ezines. (like divorce360.com and firstwivesworld.com) Send me the articles and I'd be pleased to use it in my ezine, as well. We can all play a part in spreading the word. Let's make this an ongoing part of our business strategies. We have a message worth sharing!
What you are talking about is at the root of the Spiritual Divorce principles and so necessary in the world today. Knowing that a divorce is actually a door way and all that is happening is a change in the relationship, not a necessarily a loss or ending. That there is no being right, only being whole and full of new possibility as we move out of one phase in a relationship into a new more empowered and inpsirational phase.
Maybe there is no need for confrontation, litigation, or medation if two people get that they were brought together to learn a lesson and love each other for providing that opportunity to learn. There is an alternative to the legal method and that is healing the wounds that were hurt in the relationship before you try to settle in court. A divorce is nothing more than picking the scar of an emotional wound from a hurt that happened long before the this relationship started. Feel the feelings and heal the hurt. Represent yourself and your partner at your and their highest
I so agree with you and it's so important to spread understanding about what you are saying and how it can be done. Couples are not getting this message and therefore miss the opportunity to even contemplate looking at their relationship as a lesson and gift to one another. Would be happy to share an article you write about this for my ezine. I touch on this philosophical perspective in my own book, but it needs to be repeated and validated by therapists and other divorce professionals again and again to make an impact on the divorcing population.
My mission is to wipe victim mentality off the face of the planet by helping people create a sustainable culture of compassion in our relationships - ALL of them. And creating a healthier relationship with a former spouse or partner is critical to maintaining peace of mind, body and spirit.
My contribution to this is through teaching skills for conscious choice and compassionate communication.
Become an affiliate of the Happily Divorced! book and audio program! Let Reformed "Killer" Divorce Attorney, Cynthia Tiano, and Dr. Max Vogt, Marriage and Family Psychologist, take you on an adventure into the lives of two families going through the divorce legal system - one doing "legal battle" and the other creating a "peaceful divorce". Learn how to create a Win-Win from their experiences... HappilyDivorced.org
Going through divorce means dealing with hundreds of details, some more important than others. One detail that merits extra contemplation is how to deal with the marital home.Does one spouse want to keep it because the children still live there? You don't want to disrupt their lives any more than is already happening. What if the children are grown? Do you still need that much of a house?Here are the three most common means of dealing with the house in divorce:Selling the house and dividing the…See More
We know that the divorce rate among all couples is about 50%, but there is no question that divorce rates are even higher among parents of children with special needs.Below is an article that was written by Dr. Howard Drutman and Marsha Schechtman, LCSW. In this article, they talk about the considerations that must be understood about the special needs child. In addition to their information, we also have to think…See More
Scam artists have developed a new tactic in cheating taxpayers out of their hard-earned money.Transcript fraud is when taxpayers are lured into opening an attachment that is supposed to be their tax transcript. In fact, the attachment contains malware that will intercept all of your outgoing data, with the intent of capturing account numbers. From there, the thieves withdraw the money and the taxpayer is left without…See More
If you are getting divorced or just got divorced the last thing on your mind is taxes. It is important to remember that if you got divorced anytime in 2018 (even Dec. 31, 2018), you will be considered divorced for the whole year of 2018. What does that mean for taxes?It could mean a higher tax bill than you thought. If you are receiving alimony this year it will be taxable to you. If you are…See More
We are only 4 weeks away from the end of the year. What does that mean for people who have gotten divorced in 2018?It means you have to get ready to file your tax returns for the year ending 2018 by April 15, 2019, or else extend it. Remember, just because you extend it, you still have to pay any tax that you owe by April 15, 2019.If you got divorced in 2017, here are some items you need to think about for tax…See More
Today I’m pleased to bring you a special guest blog written by my colleague Steve Erickson. In his 35 years of experience, Steve has come up with a novel approach to child support that shifts couples away from being adversarial and toward collaboration. This method is called the Child Support Account, and it was originally proposed…See More
In my experience, many people do not know the difference between the withholding amount (the taxes deducted on your pay stub) and their tax liability. All they know is that they don’t have the money. They think they’re square with the government, and are surprised if they owe any amount on top of what was withheld. That’s why I thought it would be useful to review the…See More
One of the things I have learned over the years is that we cannot be a Jack-of-all-trades and a master-of-none. In today’s ever-changing world, we need to have connections with professionals in other disciplines and specialities. This is especially true with divorce professionals. I think it is important that practitioners have a network of specialists on which to draw. Today I am going to do just…See More
Have you thought about doing a tax projection for 2018?Obviously, this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. However, no one wants to be surprised around tax time. Here’s why you should get a head start on knowing the new tax law and how it will affect you and/or your business in the coming tax year.We are seven months into the New Year. You may not be aware that we have a new tax law that went into effect on December 22, 2017, or that most of the provisions took effect on January 1, 2018.Here are some…See More
Today I’m featuring an article by a colleague of mine named Martin Kranitz. Martin, a mediator in Maryland, has obtained certification from the Maryland Council for Dispute Resolution, one of the first organizations to provide mediator certification based on demonstrated performance rather than just education and mediation courses taken. In this piece, Martin discusses one of the many functions a mediator can play,…See More
As attitudes change about marriage and divorce, mediation has become an attractive alternative to traditional litigation. Still, some people are wary of it. The good news is that the facts support mediation, and in this post I provide a “cheat sheet” to help you persuade a reticent spouse into the process.Control: You and your spouse get to control the speed of the process. You both get to make…See More
Financial issues are a big part of the difficulty of divorce, in part because people don’t realize there are certain contracts that take precedence over divorce decrees. In fact, that’s the number one misconception that people seem to have. Being able to identify financial issues can help take away some of the pitfalls and stresses that can arise…See More